What Your Brain Is Really Doing When You’re Triggered? When we get triggered, our amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) hijacks our prefrontal cortex (our rational thinking center) in milliseconds. This isn’t a character flaw, it’s your nervous system doing exactly what it evolved to do: keep you alive. But here’s what neuroscience teaches us: triggers are actually breadcrumbs leading us back to unhealed parts of ourselves. The Neurobiology of Triggers Your nervous system stores incomplete experiences as implicit memories, body sensations, emotions, and survival responses that get activated when present circumstances mirror past threats. When triggered, you’re not overreacting to the present moment; you’re responding to an unresolved past experience that your nervous system perceives as happening right now. Think of it this way: Your nervous system is like a smoke detector. Sometimes it goes off when someone burns toast (a minor trigger), but it’s responding as if there’s a five-alarm fire (the original wound). The Window of Tolerance Psychiatrist Dan Siegel’s concept of the Window of Tolerance explains why regulation matters. This is your optimal zone where you can: - Think clearly - Feel your emotions without being overwhelmed - Respond rather than react - Stay present and connected When triggered, you exit this window into: HYPERAROUSAL (fight/flight): anxiety, rage, panic, racing thoughts HYPOAROUSAL (freeze/fawn): numbness, dissociation, collapse, depression Somatic Regulation Techniques Your body holds the key to returning to your window of tolerance. Here are evidence-based practices: The STOP Method S - Stop what you’re doing T - Take a breath O - Observe your body sensations P - Proceed with awareness Bilateral Stimulation Cross your arms over your chest and gently pat your shoulders alternately. This activates both brain hemispheres and naturally calms your nervous system (similar to EMDR’s mechanism). Orienting and Resourcing

If you have read some of my posts, you would have noticed that I write sometimes about spirituality. In my faith tradition, we say "with hardship, comes ease". I never really understood that phrase until today. The ease can come in many forms. For example , I found this community because I was looking for help. Additionally, I am grateful for the love I receive from family, friends, and this community. I have a health team in place. This phrase, "with hardship comes ease" is now, with hardship comes new perspectives, new understandings, new inner awareness of who I am in this world. This abundance of blessings I wasn't paying attention to until now. I am not sure where this journey is taking me but I am more opened to it. Maybe that's where a new purpose will emerge. I listed a few questions that I asked myself. If you are interested, you could substitute the word God to align with your belief system. 💕 Ask yourself during hardship: "What is God teaching me through this?" "Where has God made this easier than it could have been?" "What blessing or protection may be hidden in this trial?" "What have I learned about myself during this?"

We all experience powerful emotions. They enrich our lives, guide our decisions, and connect us deeply to ourselves and others. Yet when emotions drive every moment, logic can lose its seat at the wheel. Emotions are Signals, Not Commands: Neuroscience shows that emotions arise from the limbic system, our brain’s warning center. They alert us to needs, values and potential threats. Logic flows from the prefrontal cortex, helping us weigh options and choose a deliberate response. When these two systems work together, we make wiser, more balanced choices. Why Regulation Matters: Our autonomic nervous system toggles between fight, flight, freeze and rest-and-digest. Mastering simple regulation tools like: paced breathing, body scans, and grounded movement—shifts us from reactive states into the window of tolerance. In that window we can feel deeply and think clearly at the same time. My Journey: For years I wore my emotions on my sleeve. I believed that raw feeling was my strength. Over time I noticed my emotional intensity overpowering logic in critical moments, arguments, high-stakes decisions and personal relationships. After over a decade of therapy, support groups, somatic work, and targeted practice, I discovered that I could both feel and choose.Through daily breathing exercises, regulation rituals and nervous system education, I rewired my responses. Now, I welcome emotions as valuable data, then engage my thinking mind to decide how to act. Practical Steps to Integrate Emotion and Logic: 1. Pause and Breathe: Notice where emotion shows up in your body. Take three slow, even breaths to anchor yourself. 2. Name the Feeling: label it. I feel____anger, fear, joy. Naming brings the emotion into conscious awareness. 3. Engage Your Why: ask “what value or need is this emotion pointing to? 4. Choose Your Action: decide how best to meet that need in alignment with your goals. When emotions have ruled your life, especially after trauma, finding that balance can feel impossible. Yet with consistent practice, the right support, and targeted work, you can rewire your nervous system and fully integrate logic with emotion.

Discipline is practice. It means failing repeatedly until your voice becomes loud enough to tell your excuses to shut the HE🏒🏒 up.

Has your partner been complaining, pulling away, criticizing, or asking you to change? It can feel like you’re not enough… or too much. But what they’re often reacting to isn’t who you are, it’s how you show up in the relationship. Let’s break it down: 💡Being playful is a beautiful trait. But if you use humor to avoid emotional moments, your partner may feel unseen when they needed your presence. 💡Being introspective is a gift. But if you keep things in until they explode, it can create disconnection—even when you think you’re protecting them. 💡Being expressive helps you connect. But if you speak from a reactive state, your words can land as criticism instead of care. 💡Being driven and focused builds a powerful life. But if your energy always goes to doing, your partner may feel like a task instead of a treasure. These patterns aren’t your identity. They’re strategies, often developed to feel safe, stay in control, or avoid rejection. But relationships ask us to grow beyond survival. To meet each other with presence, not protection. You don’t need to change who you are. You just need to become aware of how your patterns shape connection. Reflection questions: 🧠 Which pattern do you notice most in yourself? ❤️ How might it be impacting the connection you want to build? 🌱 What would a new, more connected response look like? Drop your answers in the comments or just reflect privately. Growth starts with awareness.