Went to HEB yesterday and saw a pickup truck highlighting their investment in Scoop Soldiers. I recognized this one as a franchise which specifically targets veterans, and while it was too late for this guy, just letting you know that this one is a dog. Literally and figuratively. Here’s what the FDD says about the business model: "We license a system (the “System”) for the operation of a Scoop Soldiers business (each, a “Franchised Business” or “Scoop Soldiers Business”) that provides residential and commercial pet waste management and yard deodorizing services (the “Approved Services and Products”)." Yes, you read that right. The franchise is a business model where you pick up pet shit, dispose of it, and then spray the yard with some variant of Febreeze. Here are some numbers: Average franchise cost: $96,100 for a single territory (of 400,000 people, which isn’t the worst I’ve seen, not by a long shot. Please be forewarned: this might be the only positive thing I’ll say about this ‘business opportunity’.) Median franchise revenues (out of 96 franchises) $128,713 Franchise term: 10 years. Royalty plus brand fund contribution: TWENTY ONE PERCENT!!! Adding technology fees and convention costs, that median franchise pays $29,000 (rounded) in just these four fees alone. If you want a rate of return on your investment just equal to what the franchisor is taking from you, you need to pull out (of that median franchise) $74k. This means you must earn $4.83 in revenue for every $1 you spend on operations (COGS, vehicles, etc). (Let’s just say that’s impossible. If someone wants to disagree, please, let me know your thoughts.) If you want a 10% rate of return on your investment (what the DJIA has averaged since 1990… or 1926 for that matter), you need to pull out $16k (rounded), meaning that you have to earn $1.53 in revenue for every $1 spent on operations. But, as I mentioned above, if the best you can do is to match the DJIA, just put your franchise investment in a no-load DJIA mutual fund and smoke pot and play video games all day - you’ll do just as well, without the headaches (unless weed gives you headaches).

Unfortunately, we can't do everything. 😢 And some things we cannot or will not do: 1. We will not recommend franchises to you. So, please, don't ask "What's the best franchise to buy?" 2. We cannot fix your franchise purchase. Once you're in the system, you're in the system. 3. We will not read the Franchise Agreement for you. The Franchise ROI Lab is focused only on the Franchise Disclosure Documents (FDDs)

Welcome to the Lab! We will have two tiers of content. For our Freemium members, you can expect: 💸"Skeptics Analysis" Video Series: Short 2-5 min analyses of smaller/lesser-known franchise brands. 📚 The "FDD Quick-Scan" PDF: Highlighting the most common red flags in the FDD's found in the "Prologue", Item 12 (Territories), and Item 20 (Outlets and Franchisee Information). ✍️ Access to our Community Forum For our Premium members, in addition to the Freemium content, we also offer: 🏛️ Full FDD Decoding Course (approximately 20 Videos): Item-by-item deep dive into the legal and financial items of the FDD. 💻 Proprietary ROI Spreadsheet + Tutorial: Downloadable tool and video training on how to use it to calculate any franchises ROI using FDD data. 📹 "Premium Analysis" Video Series: Short 2-5 min analyses of popular/high-demand franchise brands (such as Subway, Chick-Fil-A, and more). 🗣️One-on-One: One private call after 6 months of paid membership to discuss your franchise concerns. 📅 Monthly "Deep Dive & Hot Seat" Q&A: Focused, high-value live session where I analyze one member's FDD/deal structure. (Please let me know which franchise you wish to analyze!) With the above structure, you will be provided with a rich source of information allowing you to objectively review your potential franchise investment. NOTE: It will take time for me to create this content. Premium content will likely not be available until January, 2026.

Thinking of buying a franchise? You have come to the right place - at the Franchise ROI lab, we discuss the pitfalls and successes of franchising. This lab is different than a typical franchise coach: We do not sell franchises. After seeing friend after friend fall into the franchise trap, I tend to look at franchising rather skeptically. All my friends did was perform a capital buildout of someone else's business model, owning none of the brand value, none of the equity, and when they failed because of exhaustion of both spirit and finances, they were left with nothing... while the franchisor still had a struggling franchise they could pawn off to another person. The franchisor made out like bandits, being paid royalty fees, franchising fees, technology fees, while my friends could not understand why they were bleeding money. Well, we are here to prevent this from happening to you. This lab is here to teach you how to read and analyze the Franchise Disclosure Document for ROI purposes. We do not recommend franchises, so please don't ask "what is the best franchise to buy"? My general response to that question would be simply: None of them.