19d • General discussion
Scoop Soldiers
Went to HEB yesterday and saw a pickup truck highlighting their investment in Scoop Soldiers. I recognized this one as a franchise which specifically targets veterans, and while it was too late for this guy, just letting you know that this one is a dog.
Literally and figuratively.
Here’s what the FDD says about the business model:
"We license a system (the “System”) for the operation of a Scoop Soldiers business (each, a “Franchised Business” or “Scoop Soldiers Business”) that provides residential and commercial pet waste management and yard deodorizing services (the “Approved Services and Products”)."
Yes, you read that right. The franchise is a business model where you pick up pet shit, dispose of it, and then spray the yard with some variant of Febreeze.
Here are some numbers:
Average franchise cost: $96,100 for a single territory (of 400,000 people, which isn’t the worst I’ve seen, not by a long shot. Please be forewarned: this might be the only positive thing I’ll say about this ‘business opportunity’.)
Median franchise revenues (out of 96 franchises) $128,713
Franchise term: 10 years.
Royalty plus brand fund contribution: TWENTY ONE PERCENT!!! Adding technology fees and convention costs, that median franchise pays $29,000 (rounded) in just these four fees alone.
If you want a rate of return on your investment just equal to what the franchisor is taking from you, you need to pull out (of that median franchise) $74k. This means you must earn $4.83 in revenue for every $1 you spend on operations (COGS, vehicles, etc).
(Let’s just say that’s impossible. If someone wants to disagree, please, let me know your thoughts.)
If you want a 10% rate of return on your investment (what the DJIA has averaged since 1990… or 1926 for that matter), you need to pull out $16k (rounded), meaning that you have to earn $1.53 in revenue for every $1 spent on operations. But, as I mentioned above, if the best you can do is to match the DJIA, just put your franchise investment in a no-load DJIA mutual fund and smoke pot and play video games all day - you’ll do just as well, without the headaches (unless weed gives you headaches).
Item 19 of the FDD is amazingly detailed, but there is one thing clear: For every stop you make, you will earn about $22.76.
You read that right. You get to drive to someone’s home, pick up dog shit and then Febreeze their yard, for the princely sum of $22.76.
As I said, Item 19 is very detailed. They list all franchises in this system and the top franchise has earned $659,712.12 in revenue. They did 31,346 stops in 2024 (85 a day), earning $21.05 per stop. Even at that volume, they still must earn $1.31 in revenue for every $1 spent on operations.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s shit (yuck-yuck) like this which just makes me see red. These people (the Scoop Soldiers franchisor) are purposely targeting vets, selling them a ‘business opportunity’ where our country’s retired military are reduced to buying a job picking up dog shit.
Oh, and guess who reserves the rights to do your accounting if you sign up as a SS franchisee? That’s right - the franchisor!
It's crap (pun intended) like this which inspired me to start this group.
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Scoop Soldiers
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