I think a lot of men struggle with imposter syndrome but nobody really says it out loud because we think admitting it somehow disqualifies us. Like if we still struggle, still screw up, still battle our own minds some days, then who are we to talk about any of this? I feel it all the time when I post online. There are days I’ll write something about leadership, mental health, purpose, marriage, or discipline and immediately think, “Who the fuck am I to say any of this when I’m still figuring parts of my own life out too?” Honestly, even the word “coach” makes me cringe sometimes because so much of the online world feels fake as hell now. Everybody’s trying to become a brand. Everybody’s trying to sell to their “audience.” Everybody’s posting 2-3 times a day because some algorithm told them to. I hate that shit. I don’t want every conversation to feel like a funnel. I don’t want to treat human beings like leads. I post when I actually have something to say. When something hits me hard enough that I feel called to share it. Sometimes that’s every day. Sometimes I disappear for a week because I’m trying to sort my own head out first. I’m not above any of this. I’m still trying to become a better husband, better father, better leader, better man. I still overthink. I still doubt myself. I still have days where the noise in my head gets loud. But maybe that’s exactly why these conversations matter. Most of us aren’t looking for another polished guru pretending he’s mastered life. We’re looking for honest conversations with people who are still in the middle of the fight too.

I'm not exactly sure where to put this one... I'm gonna drop it under "purpose and direction" because that feels closest to me... I just wanted to share this quote that I always come back to. I first heard it hears ago, and I still have this book on my to-read list, but I recently put it back to the top of the list. I haven't dug around here enough to get a sense of the political climate or tone (my honest hope is that we're leaving that at the door), regardless I know it might rub some, but if you peel back the words the author chose and dig into the sentiment behind it, it's pretty potent regardless. This is by Bell Hooks, from her book called "The Will To Change": “The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.” Read it again. Slower. Sentence by sentence. ... ... ... "acts of psychic self-mutilation"... OOOOOFFFFF!!! We are many many many generations deep into this passed-on... I don't know what to call it... hazing... indoctrination... trauma at the very least. Stripped of our right to express or even HAVE emotions, and replacing it all with shame (which... is an emotion to be clear: shame < guilt < sadness). How does it land for you? Too heavy? Fair? Spot on? Has anyone here read the book?

There are a lot of men out there right now who are stuck, quiet, and trying to figure things out on their own. What we’ve got in here…most of them don’t have. And I know for a fact that some of your stories, your experiences, and even just the way you talk about this stuff could help someone more than you realize. So I’m asking a few of you to record a video. Nothing fancy. Phone is fine. There’s no time limit here. Could be 30 seconds, could be 5 minutes. Could be one video or a few different ones. Say what you need to say. No script. Just talk like you would to a buddy. If you want a bit of direction, here are a few angles you can run with: – Who you are and what your life looks like right now – Why you joined Anchored and Ready – What you’ve gotten out of being in here (even if it’s just one thing) – A moment where something clicked for you – What you’d say to a guy who knows he needs something but hasn’t taken the step yet – What “doing the work” actually looks like in your day-to-day life – Something you’ve struggled with that you’re starting to get a handle on Or just hit record and tell your story as it comes. No structure needed. If you’re up for it, send it to me on WhatsApp. I’ll likely use parts of these to speak on different topics and share them online, because your voice and your experience matters. This isn’t about polished content, it’s about real men talking about real things. No pressure at all. But if you’ve got something to say, say it.

Today as I’m picking up my girls from school my youngest; who is 9, hands me a bookmark. The book mark and a punch if confetti. The bookmark discusses what is coming for a test tomorrow and the magic of this confetti that helps become restful , reduce stress, and be ready cone the morning to do your best. Now, generally I would go off into a banter on schools standardized everything cresting an anxiety rich environment for the young…. However, true as that is in our school systems, the opportunity of building on a way to practice reducing school based anxiety, while creating a fun environment at age 9 is an opportunity perhaps they did not exist when I was a kid. Being intentional on how to educate kids and students on curriculum as well as adding tools to manage stress and anxiety is something I admire here. Here we are learning these tools as adults, after years of just doing it as we are told or, suppressing feelings with multiple substances, and kids in the 3rd grade may actually develop better self managing behaviors than I could ever dream of.

The last few weeks have been a grind. And I've loved every minute of it. Jumping into a new company, helping lead a rebrand, building systems and processes from scratch, getting social media dialed in and ready to launch. That's not light work. There were late nights, decisions without clear answers, and plenty of moments where I was figuring it out as I went. But somewhere in the middle of all of it I noticed something. I wasn't dreading any of it. Most of us have spent time grinding on things that felt hollow. You put in the hours, you do the work, but something's off. You can't name it but it's there. That low-grade drain that follows you home and sits with you at the dinner table. This was different. Because I believe in what I'm building. And when that's true, hard work stops feeling like punishment. It still costs you. Time, energy, mental bandwidth. But it gives something back. That's the difference. A lot of us have forgotten what that feels like. Or we stopped expecting it. We told ourselves work is just work, that fulfillment is for weekends or retirement or some future version of life we'll get to eventually. We got comfortable being numb. We settled, and we called it being realistic. That's not realistic. That's giving up with better vocabulary. You don't need some massive life overhaul to find it again either. It can start with something small. Learning a new skill. Picking up a book that actually challenges you. Starting the thing you've been putting off for six months. The feeling is still available to you. Most men just stopped going after it. Stop tolerating a life you wouldn't brag about. The people you love are watching you. Your kids, your partner, the men around you. They're not just watching what you do. They're deciding, based on you, what a man's life is supposed to look like. What's possible. What's acceptable. Make it worth watching. This life doesn't wait. Go all in on something real.