For the longest time, I wondered what it really meant to forgive someone you no longer talk to. I used to think forgiveness required a conversation, an apology, an explanation, or some kind of final moment between two people. Maybe I thought I needed the other person to understand what happened before I could truly let it go. But I’ve learned that forgiveness doesn’t always require another person. Sometimes, forgiveness is something you quietly do for yourself. Last evening, I met up with an old friend who, at one point in my life, wasn’t the best friend to me. There was unnecessary turmoil, conflict, and a lot of emotions surrounding that period of our lives. It wasn’t easy. There were things that hurt, things I didn’t understand, and feelings that took time to process. And yet, somehow, more than a decade later, we have remained in touch. Over the years, the relationship became cordial. There was no longer the same intensity or closeness, but there was respect. Sitting across from each other over coffee and ice cream, I realized something. I had forgiven them. Not because what happened didn’t matter. Not because I suddenly believed everything that happened was okay. And certainly not because I had forgotten. I had forgiven them because I no longer wanted to carry it. There is a difference between remembering something and living inside of it. I can acknowledge that I could have been difficult at times. I can own my mistakes and the ways I contributed to situations. But I also recognize how much I’ve grown since then. I’m proud of the person I’ve become and, particularly, proud that I can sit in a difficult conversation without allowing old emotions to take control of me. What surprised me was realizing that my old friend may still be carrying some of those feelings. There were questions about why things happened the way they did. Questions about the past. Questions that, in some ways, I had already stopped asking myself a long time ago. My response was simple. I’m not mad.

Energy is a valuable resource. Those who protect your happiness get access to your happiness Don’t explain yourself to those committed to misunderstanding you. Align with yourself

https://eppic888.substack.com/p/jottings?r=8acb68&utm_medium=ios What would happen if my “jottings” were found by my kids, my friends, family and then published? I’m thinking once you put yourself out into the world, whatever you say, do, or write.. it then becomes the worlds. Maybe there would be great lessons that come from it.. maybe some great laughs… Brings up another thought… How do we raise the bar and elevate our society if we hide away our learnings, our experiences from the world?

No one needs a proof of purchase or receipt on life experiences. Reaching out to support someone or just discussing your life is an action step and a valuable one. The time you give to listen, coach, hold space is valuable. Your experience matters and are valuable. “Experience is in the Experiment” “Go”

Been sitting with something and figured I'd just say it out loud instead of keeping it in my head. Every one of us landed here looking for something. Didn't matter what it looked like on the surface, underneath it we were all just trying to figure out how to be better men. That's exactly how it's supposed to start. You show up, you take what you need, you keep coming back. Somewhere in that process, something shifts. Not all at once, more like you notice it after the fact. You're still learning, you never really stop, but you look up one day and realize you're carrying something now that somebody else in your life doesn't have yet. A guy at work who goes quiet sometimes and you've clocked it but never said anything. Your brother in law. That buddy from years back you keep meaning to check on. I'm not bringing this up to put that on anybody. I'm bringing it up because that's exactly where I found myself. I was part of another community before this one, still am actually, and at some point what I was getting from it stopped being just for me. I felt this pull toward wanting to hand it off to somebody else. That pull is honestly the whole reason Anchored and Ready exists. That's what I mean by being a lighthouse. A lighthouse doesn't chase ships down or yell at them to come closer. It just stays lit, and because it's lit, somebody out there can find their way by it. You see something, you say something. That's really the whole thing. Not a program, not a responsibility you have to carry perfectly, just being willing to say the thing when you notice it. I don't think any of us plan for this moment. I sure didn't see mine coming. But if you've been doing some of this work, there's a decent chance you're already that for somebody without even clocking it yourself. I just wanted to name it, because having it named is what did it for me. That's the whole thought. Curious if anyone else has felt that pull, or has a guy in mind they've been meaning to say something to.