Chapter 5 of Finding Purpose in the Middle of Addiction is titled “The Battle Within” for a reason. Recovery is not just a fight against a substance. It's an inner conflict between two parts of the brain — and two versions of the self. On one side is the survival brain. It's fast, emotional, reactive.Its job is simple: avoid pain at all costs. On the other side is the thinking brain. Slower. Reflective. Purpose-oriented. It asks, “What kind of life am I building?” In addition, the survival brain dominates. In early recovery, the fight begins. This is why you can want recovery and still feel pulled toward old patterns. Why insight doesn’t always translate into action.Why guilt and determination can coexist in the same day. That tension does not mean you are failing. It means the battle is active. Every time you pause instead of reacting, every time you tolerate discomfort without escaping, every time you choose honesty over numbing— the balance shifts. Not dramatically.But steadily. Recovery is not about silencing the survival brain. It's about teaching it that you are safe without escape. And that lesson is learned through repetition, not perfection. The battle within isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you. Its evidence that change is underway. Reflection Take a quiet moment and reflect: - Where do I notice the strongest inner battle right now? - What situations most activate my survival brain? - What is one small pause I can practice today before reacting or escaping? You don’t need to win the battle today. You only need to stay present in it. That, in itself, is progress. Yours in Recovery, Dr Emmanuel Oyebanre

DAY 25 — Meaning Begins Before Life Feels Better One of the most misunderstood ideas in recovery is this: “Once things improve, then I’ll find meaning.” But recovery rarely works that way. Meaning doesn’t arrive after the pain eases. It begins forming while things are still uncomfortable. In Finding Purpose in the Middle of Addiction, we see how purpose often shows up quietly — not as motivation, but as orientation. You may still struggle. You may still feel uncertain. You may still have days that feel heavy. And yet… You start choosing honesty over escape. You begin pausing instead of reacting. You notice yourself caring — even when it hurts. That’s meaning. Not as inspiration, but as direction. Meaning is what allows discomfort to be tolerated without numbing. It gives pain a place to go instead of somewhere to run from. This is why two people can be equally sober —but only one feels alive. The difference isn’t willpower. Its why they’re staying. Recovery doesn’t just remove something from your life. It slowly answers the question: “What is worth staying present for?” And once that question matters, the nervous system settles.The brain steadies.The future becomes imaginable again. Not perfect — but possible. Reflection Take a quiet moment and ask yourself: - Where in my life am I waiting to “feel better” before allowing meaning in? - What small choice have I made recently that reflects direction, not comfort? - If I didn’t need today to feel good, what would still make it worth staying present for? You don’t need clarity yet.Just honesty. Meaning often begins there Yours in Recovery, Dr Emmanuel Oyebanre

Yesterday we talked about the moment of awakening —that quiet realisation where something inside you says:“I can’t keep living like this.” But today, we need to talk about what often comes next. Because awareness doesn’t always feel like relief at first. Sometimes… it hurts. Once you can no longer unsee the truth, denial stops protecting you. You begin to notice the cost — to your body, your relationships, your time, your sense of self. And that can feel overwhelming. Many people say: “I wish I didn’t know this.”“I felt better before I became aware.”“Now I see everything I’ve lost.” This is not failure. This is growth without numbing. In Finding Purpose in the Middle of Addiction, I describe this phase as the space where the brain is no longer asleep — but not yet steady. Awareness hurts because: - You feel emotions you once avoided - You grieve versions of yourself you didn’t get to be - You realise change will require effort, not magic But here’s the truth most people don’t hear: 👉 Pain after awakening is not a sign you’re going backwards.👉 It’s a sign you’re no longer running. This discomfort is temporary — but meaningful. It's the nervous system learning to sit with reality without escape. And slowly, something shifts. What once felt unbearable becomes tolerable.What felt sharp becomes informative.What hurt begins to guide. Awareness doesn’t break you. It prepares you. Today’s Reflection Take a few quiet minutes and reflect honestly: - What have I become aware of lately that feels uncomfortable? - What emotions am I feeling now that I used to numb or avoid? - If this awareness had a message for me, what might it be asking me to care for — not fix? You don’t need to rush this phase. Healing doesn’t come from avoiding the pain —it comes from learning that you can survive it without escaping yourself. Yours in Recovery Dr Emmanuel Oyebanre

It’s not the day everything suddenly feels better. It's not when cravings disappear. It's not when life makes sense. It’s quieter than that. Awakening is the moment you realise: “Something about this can’t continue.” Not from shame.Not from pressure.But from clarity. It’s the moment you stop arguing with reality.The moment denial loosens its grip.The moment you see — even briefly — that the life you’re living is costing you more than it’s giving. And here’s the part many people miss: Awakening does not mean you’re ready. Rather, It means you’re aware. Awareness comes before strength.Clarity comes before action.And purpose begins forming before behaviour changes. That first honest thought —“I can’t keep doing this” —is not weakness. It’s the brain waking up. Today’s Reflection Take a quiet moment and ask yourself (no judgment, no fixing): - When was the first time I noticed something wasn’t right? - What truth did I see — even if I wasn’t ready to act on it yet? - What did that awareness protect me from ignoring any longer? You don’t need answers today. Just honesty. Because awakening is not the end of addiction —it’s the beginning of direction. And direction is how purpose slowly enters the story Yours in Recovery, Dr Emmanuel Oyebanre

Yesterday we talked about self-forgiveness…and how compassion helps the brain move from survival mode into repair mode. But today, we take the next step: Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. One of the most painful lies addiction tells people is:“You should be able to fix this by yourself.” And when you can’t…shame steps in. But recovery isn’t a solo sport. Its not a weakness to need support. Rather, it’s wisdom. Because the brain heals best in safety—and safety is often built through connection. Sometimes the turning point isn’t a new strategy…it’s a new person. A sponsor.A friend.A therapist.A group.A community that doesn’t judge your story. You don’t need to be perfect to belong. You just need to be willing to stay. Tonight, take a quiet moment and ask yourself: “Where have I been trying to carry everything alone?” And then ask the more important question: “Who is one safe person I can let in—just a little?” Even a small reach-out is a big rewiring moment. Today’s Reflection (Journal Prompt): What was the moment you realised willpower wasn’t enough—and what kind of support helped you keep going? You can write one sentence. You don’t have to explain everything. Tonight’s Affirmation: “I am allowed to need support.I am allowed to be held while I heal.I am not weak for reaching out—I am brave for staying.” Yours in Recovery, Dr Emmanuel Oyebanre