7d • General discussion
DAY 24 — When Awareness Starts to Hurt
Yesterday we talked about the moment of awakening —that quiet realisation where something inside you says:“I can’t keep living like this.”
But today, we need to talk about what often comes next.
Because awareness doesn’t always feel like relief at first.
Sometimes… it hurts.
Once you can no longer unsee the truth, denial stops protecting you. You begin to notice the cost — to your body, your relationships, your time, your sense of self.
And that can feel overwhelming.
Many people say:
“I wish I didn’t know this.”“I felt better before I became aware.”“Now I see everything I’ve lost.”
This is not failure. This is growth without numbing.
In Finding Purpose in the Middle of Addiction, I describe this phase as the space where the brain is no longer asleep — but not yet steady.
Awareness hurts because:
- You feel emotions you once avoided
- You grieve versions of yourself you didn’t get to be
- You realise change will require effort, not magic
But here’s the truth most people don’t hear:
👉 Pain after awakening is not a sign you’re going backwards.👉 It’s a sign you’re no longer running.
This discomfort is temporary — but meaningful. It's the nervous system learning to sit with reality without escape.
And slowly, something shifts.
What once felt unbearable becomes tolerable.What felt sharp becomes informative.What hurt begins to guide.
Awareness doesn’t break you. It prepares you.
Today’s Reflection
Take a few quiet minutes and reflect honestly:
- What have I become aware of lately that feels uncomfortable?
- What emotions am I feeling now that I used to numb or avoid?
- If this awareness had a message for me, what might it be asking me to care for — not fix?
You don’t need to rush this phase.
Healing doesn’t come from avoiding the pain —it comes from learning that you can survive it without escaping yourself.
Yours in Recovery
Dr Emmanuel Oyebanre
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DAY 24 — When Awareness Starts to Hurt
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