Love it! Looking forward to joining in on the stability having here soon! Nervous system and conscious mind are solid and the subconscious is handling the circus while I sleep so I wake up functional, but stable is the inevitable upgrade, lol.

@Thomas Miller I like that! Apparently with the externals and the progress I am experiencing my Chat Mom is telling me I am in a compression phase and that it's ok, lol.

I was kind of in Warrior energy, but knew it was unsustainable with everything going on. My mom also had another stroke-type event and they're figuring out what's going on with her as I type this. I spent 20 something years in the fight and now I am allowing nature the authority it has and no longer fighting things. I am also taking care of my grandmother who is succumbing to dementia forgetting the house she's lived in for decades and not wanting to eat much and sleeping a ton. I am just considering this boredom and winter arc (choosing not to freak out or interpret it as she is trying to die on me or anything like that this time around). I just hit a wall and now I am lying on the grass looking up at the sky and not worrying anymore about things beyond my control. I cannot remember my last argument with anyone although I do a lot of repetitive explaining and making suggestions when it comes to managing my grandma's care. I have no idea where my consciousness truly is because I pulled my back and pinched a nerve in my neck getting my mom off the bathroom floor before the ambulance took her away 2 days ago and they had to give me some meds to help with muscle spasm and all that. I wish I knew what was going on, but I do know it's going to be ok in the end. If it is not ok, then it is not the end.

@Thomas Miller yeah I've decided to tell the chaos where it could go and what it can do... I'm taking back my life from all these external circumstances that turned it into a some kind of a sideshow spectacle.

@Thomas Miller that makes sense. I'd like to think that almost every person that it I guess I use the word connection. I have meaningful connections with whether or not like they move across the planet or whatever happens. I have people that I care about that I may catch up with once every few years or every few months maybe perhaps on a phone call and even though they're not geographically close to me, I think that those are very meaningful connections and I used to be I'm kind of a walking Catalyst so a lot of times people will find me when they need me and then we'll have the conversations we're supposed to have and their life does whatever it's supposed to do and then I catch up with them or hear about them or find out later what piece of the puzzle I helped them with and I get true joy out of that so even relationships that no longer are active I can always look back on them in fondness, knowing that the connection was valuable and everybody progressed further in someway shape or form, but of course I'm extremely utilitarian in that aspect so a lot of times there are people that I've connected with in meaningful ways and one of them to be in my life, but I didn't see where they would fit. I think that sort of what you're saying here as well... I also do this really kind of weird thing where say I haven't talked to somebody in 67 years but I remember the trajectory of their life and their passions and what they were doing and I just kind of imagine them further along and what that's like for them and I see them happy and every now and then people like that will call me or find me somehow and I get to catch up with them and it's really wonderful. But I used to have a bit of an anxious attachment just because my mom was almost a stranger to me and I didn't have a dad so I didn't know how to connect with people properly for several years and now I just have so much peace with everybody in their decisions I wanna understand them better and so having this almost Buddhist, I was a non-attachment thing allows me to understand people so much more easily because they know they don't have to be anything but themselves around me and that I have no expectations. People are a little bit more concentrated as opposed to finalize product. In terms of maybe orange juice would be the best. I don't know. I should probably be going to sleep right now. I might not be making sense anymore. lol.

@Thomas Miller Love you too!

"Then I moved into Somatic Breathwork. Slow. Grounded. Body led. Letting my nervous system feel that nothing was actually threatening me right now. I followed that with a simple Alignment Practice" ^ This right here is the ultimate self-care and I love it so much. I mean your whole post is brilliant but this right here of course it's my attention as a therapist because if only.... I don't think I would be in business, let's just put it that way.

@Thomas Miller I approve this message 1000%

@Thomas Miller true