So the one thing I did to get out of my comfort zone was sort of embarrassing myself as I hate recording myself talking online in front of who know how many people will see. I purposely posted a story that I messed up on my wording and sort of rambled. But I put myself out that while also showing my face! It was tough hitting that submit button.

- One trait I’ve reclaimed this week is being irritable. Here’s the moment I lived it. I love to work with my hands and take on every task. In the past I would become irritable if it didn’t go my way! I would become annoyed with myself and would throw a tool or smack it against something totally losing my cool! Yesterday I was working on the house and putting back a storage system after being painted and was struggling to get in between the cabinet and vanity to put the screws in a brace. It took 20 minute to put 2 screws in and I slightly got irritated but then I immediately went into breathing and thinking how to get this and just ended up asking my mom too hold the cabinet tilted up even though it required removing to screws and someone help and it took me 10 seconds to fix and I just ended up laughing at myself instead of letting it bring my mood down for the rest of the day like it usually would have!

Yesterday I put my phone down for the day! Had it in the morning tell about 8:30 and checked it a couple times but it was good to not have it. It was an odd feeling for sure! Definitely some feelings of fomo!

Funnily enough I hadn't even finished watching the video I was half way through when this happened. I paused it because my girlfriend wanted me to get in the pool with her, so I said "okay let me shower off (hotel policy) then I'll come in. By the time I've been for a shower my girlfriend is out of the pool with her cousin on the sunbed. I ask " what happend I thought we were getting in?" She told me that the three men in the pool had been going underwater and staring at them and following them around the pool. We then had a group of younger girls come to us and tell us something similar. My first thought was just conflict, go straight to them and basically make a scene. But I just thought, why am I doing all this, if I just watch these videos and pay this man I'm never gonna change I'm responsible I have to be the Man I want to be. I told my partner first I wanted to raise it, she told me to just leave it but I knew what was going to happen, they were going to end up having to do it. Instead I went to reception anyway and made the complaint. When I got back another man in the family was attempting to make the same complaint, let him know I had been to reception and then we got security down and the situation was handled gracefully. Bonus; I'd just like to let the guys in here knowq my state/emotions to actually be able to walk up to reception. It may help them. I had the idea and sat with it for what felt like eternity but was probably about 2-3mins. I finally got up and made my way to reception, my heart was pounding and my body was shaking. I walked past reception and told myself "I'll double check they're in the pool still" which was half true but also I was not in a state to talk. I walked down the corridor talking to myself saying "why am I doing this, what am I afriad of? What If it was my daughter?" And then another thought came "it is... It's your girlfriend and you are letting this continue" at that moment I just continued to walk back straight up to reception mouthing the words "fuck it, fuck it". Basically meaning, I don't care what happens to me I'm not letting this go unnoticed.

Guys this is what community and having a circle of high calibre men is for. This share from @Scott Mathiowetz on @Daniel Edge post was outstanding. Sharing his experience, his actions and outcomes. No force, no judgement just solid passing of wisdom. And since then I’ve seen many of you @Alec Liebhardt @David Quinones offer your insights as well in similar depth and courage. Well done gents ✊🏾 #wearegroundedmen