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The Gay Men's Table
125 members • Free
9 contributions to The Gay Men's Table
Jun 26 •
Chemistry gets your attention. Safety gets your heart.
Month 1 / Week 4 • Know Yourself We had a real one on Wednesdays call. We talked about something most of us have lived but rarely say out loud — that we chase chemistry instead of safety. We feel that pull with someone. Everything moves fast. It feels electric. And somewhere underneath it we know something is off — but we don’t listen. Because our brain is already in it. The what ifs. The stories we tell ourselves. The hope that this one might be different. And the other person? They usually showed us exactly who they were from the very beginning. We just didn’t want to see it. We can’t blame them for that. We can only look at why we keep choosing the roller coaster over the calm. Finding the right partner deserves the same care and intention you’d give any important decision in your life. Think of it like hiring a CEO for your own company — you wouldn’t offer the job after one conversation. You’d take your time. Ask the hard questions. Make sure they’re worth it. Yet somehow with love we skip all the steps. Safety isn’t boring. Safety is the foundation everything else is built on. That’s what we talked about today. Every Monday 6PM PDT and Wednesday 11AM PDT Come as you are.
1 like • Jul 4
That’s a very good conversation. Chemistry can cloud vision and definitely twist how you think about a person logically. To find a partner, definitely I think logically thinking is very important. But I wonder, if there is no chemistry at the beginning, would there be possibility of love?
1 like • Jul 4
@Frederik Schaaf yeah I think that’s a very grounded idea. For dating, Definitely there needs to be a certain amount of chemistry just enough to feel excited and want to meet again. But if the chemistry is high or it leads to anxiety or overthinking, it may actually hinder the relationship building. In that scenario, probably it’s best to keep it at dating stage for a longer period of time.
2 likes • Jun 21
@Frederik Schaaf or thirst trap contents. So common and I already told meta don’t show me thirst traps and I still see them a lot.
1 like • Jun 23
@Frederik Schaaf Yeah, unfortunately.
May 22 •
Long weekend plan?
It’s the long weekend this week! Any plan? I plan to go to a state park near Vegas - Valley of Fire.
0 likes • May 23
Oh? When did you go before? This place was recommended from a tour guide that I met two weeks ago at the antelope canyon and I’m curious to check out. Dinner sounds cool but can be draining for multiple reasons. You feel you’d rather not go?
0 likes • May 25
Valley of Fire is actually pretty cool.
May 21 •
Being out
Hi all since I can't change my profile right now I want to be authentic in the chat I am William Cappola and I'm gay and proud
0 likes • May 22
Hey William, great to have you here
1 like • May 19
Happy birthday!
1-9 of 9
Active 3d ago
Joined Apr 29, 2026