There is a moment that happens in ordinary situations. Someone says something that is not quite right about you, your needs, or what you can or cannot do. You know what the accurate response would be. Something smaller comes out instead. Not because you did not have the words. Because somewhere along the way you learned that the full response costs more than the silence. Over time, that becomes automatic. The room expects a smaller version of you. And you deliver it, before you have even decided to. If you are a woman who uses a wheelchair and that moment sounds familiar, I built something for you. It is called Seated Sisters and it is free to join, HERE. And if you are reading this and do not use a wheelchair yourself but know a woman who would recognise what I described, I would be genuinely grateful if you passed this on to her.

Right… hot take incoming and yep I’m probably about to ramble my way through this one (eye roll at myself already)… but the more I read that giant thread in Skoolers and the gazillion comments flying around, the more I kept thinking… Hang on a minute. This isn’t actually about “Relationships vs Money vs Tech” at all or is it? (Look I know we all see things through different lenses, this is an open conversation, and simply sharing another perspective… we have millions of them, thats the beauty of being HUMAN) ❤️ On the surface… yeah, of course, people are talking about categories, discovery, rankings, the Games, fairness, all the practical stuff. Obvs that matters a big time lot. If you’ve been grafting away for months building something, showing up every day, getting your community growing and then suddenly your category gets moved mid-game… yeah that’s gonna sting a bit. I’d be sat there like… OOOOOFFFFF ok then… what just happened there. But underneath all that admin-y talk and system talk and rule talk… what I actually see bubbling away is something way more HUMAN. Safety. Because when people build something day after day on a platform… their community, their income, their friendships, their identity as a creator, all the little inside jokes, the momentum, the energy… that stuff stops feeling like “just a platform.” It starts feeling like HOME. (yes I’m getting a bit woo here… just go with it). And when something shifts without warning… categories move… rules change… rankings wobble… suddenly the nervous system, the body, the emotions go HOLD UP A SECOND… Are we actually safe here or not? Not safe like danger danger obviously. But safe like… can I trust the ground I’m standing on? Because the reality is… most of us building online are kinda building on rented land. Skool. Facebook. Insta. Wherever. Amaze-balls platforms (obvs team Skool here), EPIC HUMANS, brilliant badass communities… but at the end of the day the land isn’t ours. The rules can shift of courseThe systems can change. And change… can be uncomfy AF.

IT’S ALL SUBJECTIVE… Look, here’s the thing… I am TOTES not afraid to speak my voice… (if you had not noticed already) And I am definitely not afraid for people to have opinions about it too Some people will vibe with it. Some people won’t. That’s called being HUMAN It’s also called polarising… and OBVS that’s kinda the point. We are NOT meant to be everybody’s cup of tea. And also… let’s be honest… not everybody is your cup of tea either. That’s life. But here’s the bit that rolls eyes baffles me sometimes… When people spend their time commenting on stuff purely to nit-pick style. CAPS Tone Words Delevery....blah blah blah.... Like… hmmmm really? Me personally, I tend to give my time and energy to things that either resonate, align, challenge me in a good way, or make me think. I’m not scrolling around the internet looking for petty little things to poke poop at. Although… hands up… yes OBVS I know I’m kinda doing that right now in this post 😂 (tutu) But my BIGGER point is this… Don’t be afraid to be yourself online. Some people will love it. Some people will roll their eyes. Some people will scroll straight past. None of that makes anyone a bad person. It just means we are all different humans with different tastes, perspectives and tolerances. And honestly… that’s the beautiful bit. Because imagine how boring this place would be if we all sounded the bloody same… And look… if you’re in a group where you’re allowed to advertise your community… then OBVS put your link. Go for it. CAPITAL letters? Yep I use them sometimes A LOT Sarcasm? 100%. Swearing? Now and again… because I’m human not a polite robot called Robert. Professional? Yes. Absolutely I am. But professional does NOT mean borasaursus, silent, sanitised and sounding like everybody else. Do I make up my own words sometimes?Also-fricken-lutely-yessssaaa Do I ramble a bit? Probs teehee Do I like tea? Nah not really that much… I’m more of a coffee human.

Why yes/ why not? Totes curious on all y’all’s take ✌️

Right, here’s another thing that really gripes my monkeys. I don’t even have monkeys. But if I did, they’d be GRIPED... Let’s say you join a business community. You join because you wanna connect with EPIC business HUMANS. You wanna have proper conversations about your business. You want support. You want insight. You want tips and tools that will actually HELP you move the needle… So tell me… What is the point when the owner of the group just asks meaningless, filler questions. All. The. Effin’. Time.HMMM Now before anyone gets twitchy, OBVS I love fun. I love banter. I love being human. I will 100% drop a dog pic and a daft GIF. I am not anti-FUN at all I am anti-surface-level-noise-dressed-up-as-community. “Do you prefer a daisy or a lily?” HELLO? “If you have a business say hi.” Duh. Why else are we here? “How many coffees have you had today?” Groundbreaking. And again, I’m not quoting anyone here... You KNOW the vibe. The constant engagement-bait loop that makes you feel busy but not better. And this is the bit where I put my leader hat on… If I join a BUSINESS space, I want substance. I want someone to challenge me. I want conversations that shift something. I want momentum. I want growth Not “pick a flower and comment below” on repeat. FUN is great. (I love fun) Filler as a strategy? (always) Not for me. Because here’s the thing, content should spark conversation. Conversation should build connection. Connection should build community. And community should move you forward. Not keep you busy…pffffftt If it’s not moving anyone forward, what are we actually doing? The eyes are rollin HARD What do you reckon? P.S - This is exactly why The BACKROOM exists. Yes, we woop. Yes, we wobble. HELLO Yes, there’s sarcasm and dog energy and the occasional swear word. But it’s mostly business. Confidence. Voice. Saying the thing you actually wanna say. its where the real sh*t gets said, getting feedback. growing some balls (metaphorical or otherwise). Doing the work.