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19 contributions to Expert Coach Certification
Response-ability day 43
I take responsibility for everything in my life! Being almost incessantly persevering is the goal!
Response-ability day 43
1 like • Feb '25
Warning: Life should be more than being incessantly persevering. Don't let the prevailing hustle culture remove rest and pleasure from a life that becomes an insatiable search for "more".
Blame versus Improvement
Blame is common in the workplace and in personal life. It never makes things better, so it's a poor substitute for analysis and action. Asking "what went wrong" is a much better beginning than "who went wrong". For one thing, it's almost always someTHING wrong that led to someone doing something non-ideal. For another, people make mistake and do non-ideal things all the time, so we should stop acting as if it's a violation of the fabric of the universe. It's a common occurrence. Move on. When we start with WHAT went wrong instead of who, we stand a much better chance of finding something that is changeable and should be changed. So, never blame. Analyze and take action. I find many occasions to say this to clients, either because they are reeling from having been blamed for something, or because they are self-blaming.
When the client has a setback, say it
"Encouragement" such as "you can do anything you put your mind to" implies fault for anything not yet accomplished and can bring shame along with pressure. It is important to acknowledge what someone has already accomplished, and to acknowledge setbacks *as setbacks*. Being frank about misses shows you "get it" and are connected with their experience. It also makes your praise, confidence, and congratulations more powerful because you have shown that you mean those things when you say them.
When Encouragement Feels Like Pressure
I had an interesting conversation with a mentee today. While discussing her career plans, I told her, "You are capable of doing it all!" I gave her a little push, believing in her potential. But her immediate response caught me off guard: "Priya, these words are creating stress for me." This wasn’t the first time I’d heard something like this. It made me pause and reflect—how can words meant to uplift someone end up making them feel pressured? As we spoke further, I realized that she was struggling with imposter syndrome—that constant battle between self-belief and self-doubt. In her mind, my words weren’t encouragement; they felt like an expectation she wasn’t sure she could meet. She worried, "What if I fail? How will I face you if I don’t clear the interview?" This conversation was a reminder that motivation isn’t one-size-fits-all. For some, encouragement fuels confidence, but for others, it can trigger fear of failure. As mentors, leaders, and peers, we need to recognize this. Sometimes, what people need is not just a push forward but reassurance that it’s okay to fail and try again. Have you ever experienced this—where words of support unintentionally created pressure? Would love to hear your thoughts!
When Encouragement Feels Like Pressure
3 likes • Feb '25
"Encouragement" such as "you can do anything you put your mind to" implies fault for anything not yet accomplished and can bring shame along with pressure. It is important to acknowledge what someone has already accomplished, and to acknowledge setbacks *as setbacks*. Being frank about misses shows you "get it" and are connected with their experience. It also makes your praise, confidence, and congratulations more powerful because you have shown that you mean those things when you say them.
Loneliness vs being alone
Loneliness is a game of the ego. A draining emotional state where the person suffers, experiences abandonment, unconsciously. On the other hand, being alone is a state lived with awareness based on one's own choice, lacking a feeling of vulnerability, where the individual focuses on his own growth. The two states of existence are distinguished by our awareness and point of view.
6 likes • Feb '25
I don't agree that loneliness is egoistic. We are the most socially interdependent creatures on this planet. We are biologically wired to connect with others, receive from others, and give to others. We are naturally and profoundly bereft when we do not have social connections, and we live in a society that no longer has neighborhoods that know each other, in which even the so-called nuclear family is often a temporary arrangement, and in which most friendships forged at work disappear when we change jobs. Being comfortably alone to think, to feel, or to take a break from thinking and feeling is a needed counterbalance as well, but we absolutely need social connection. For example: "The quality of your social connections is directly related to your risk of cardiovascular disease. Even “perceived loneliness” has been associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke (Valtorta, 2016). And the mortality rates are worse for people who already have heart disease. Poor social integration (e.g. a low number of close relationships) predicts a 61% increased risk of death (Kreibig, 2014). Some studies show even higher risks to social isolation (Havranek, 2015)."
1 like • Feb '25
@Lívia Tihanyi yes
1-10 of 19
Bennett Barouch
4
74points to level up
Mostly retired, a part-time coach with a background that spans science and tech, religion and philosophy.

Active 20d ago
Joined Feb 5, 2025
San Francisco, Ca
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