Why being warm made me a worse CEO

I used to think a good leader is warm and accessible all the time.

That is exactly why my team stopped listening.

For years I had one mode. Friendly, expressive, lots of words. Same energy in a serious meeting as in a tea break. I thought that was authenticity.

It was just noise.

When I was warm in a serious meeting, the team felt the decision was not important. When I over explained a hard call, they thought I was unsure. When I rambled in a 1:1, the actual point got lost.

The biggest shift came when I started saying less.

The day I cut my words in half, people started leaning in. Decisions stopped getting questioned. The room got quiet when I spoke. Turns out the more I talked, the less they listened. I had trained them that my words were not worth tracking.

Now I run three modes depending on the room.

Dropping the full framework in the comments. Including the one question I ask myself every night to stay honest.

Anyone else here had to unlearn “be yourself everywhere” as a leader?

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