My Emotions & Anger Spoke Out Loud

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I'm sharing something raw because I was thrown so off balance this evening and my emotional and verbal response was also raw.

This is a tough post. But given the kind of work we do and what I teach I feel it's important for me to just share with you.

For some background, a year ago the neighbor’s house directly behind us caught fire and was destroyed. One of the neighbors died as a result of his injuries.

The survivor is a friend I've known since high school. He and his partner lived in this house for about 25 years.

Tonight, I was at our local neighborhood association meeting. I live in a neighborhood of historical homes in a designated historic district. So the regular order of business was going on. And then the topic switches to what's happening with this particular house and “what do we need to do about the house.”

As I listened there was no mention of the owners. There was no recognition of the complete destruction of their life and the death of my friend,

And this anger started to build inside me as this neighborhood association was talking about city rules and regulations about what could be done or could not be done with what's left of this historical home.

People were making comments and I knew I had to say something.

So when I had the microphone I told them in advance you are not going to like what I have to say. And I basically pulled the rug on their association BS.

I could see the shock in their faces. But I had to say my piece. For me it felt so out of Integrity to stay silent and so I let it out and let it be known what I thought of their narrow-minded conversation about this house without any mention of the owners.

I don't think I've gone off like that in public in decades but I was boiling on the inside.

I'm sharing this with you because sometimes you do not have to hold it together. Sometimes it's not the best course of action to hold it together. Sometimes you just have to let it out and let that energy go where it needs to go and say what it needs to say and then be done with it. It wasn't pretty, I know that. My body was shaking afterwards and it took me several hours to ground and settle down because I was so pissed off.

I ate a light supper and it made me feel better. I also sat outside on my front porch and felt the wind against my face. I watched the sun go down and tried to be as present as possible.

I probably burned some bridges and made some enemies tonight but I can honestly say I have no regret about saying what I had to say.

I lived too many years of my life trying to hold it together, holding my tongue, trying to keep the peace instead of saying my piece. Now it's done and I am in Integrity with myself.

If you read this far thank you for reading and holding space for me. 💜

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