Today’s theme: Asking for what you want

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This came up for me again today and it reminded me why I included this exercise a few days ago in Day 23 of the challenge, because it goes much deeper than it sounds.

My story- I was never allowed to accept anything including a glass of water when we went visiting because this would inconvenience the people. This also meant I was too afraid to ask to use the toilet in case it put someone out. Ridiculous, I know, but that was my beliefs and my conditioning.

When I later heard that not allowing people to give to you is actually doing them a disservice, it honestly threw me. I had lived my whole life like this, well and truly into my adult years so I had to revisit everything I’d ever been taught.

That’s when so much clicked into place.

I finally understood and realised why my family never gave me what I wanted, ever!!!!! even for presents. As a kid, Santa always “ran out” before he got to me. I got things, but never ever what I truly wanted.

I learned very early that:

I shouldn’t ask
I didn’t deserve
And if I wanted something, I’d better get it myself

Because I never said what I wanted, I believed disappointment was inevitable.

Then, years later, I started seeing the same belief in clients, not always as extreme, but definitely present. Especially in women and mothers. We go without so everyone else can have what they need. And we call it love… but it comes at a cost.

So now I teach this: