Today I probably had the strongest urge to relapse so far. So strong that I almost convinced myself to relapse. It's the hardest I had to fight off this urge, I had to use utmost will power in my mind. But I actually beat it. I didn't wanna lose the glow on my face and just the high energy vibration I am experiencing. It's almost like not wanting to lose the super power. Would be frustrating to start all over again. Can't believe the mind games are so strong that I almost fell off but phew. Onwards and upwards from here on.

The last time i got my hair cut short (as a form of grief) was about 5 months ago, the same day I relapsed on my previous 179 days SR streak. It was not exactly a skull-revealing buzz cut, but it was short enough to have barely any length. About second month into my hair regrowth journey I made a huge mistake of trying to use a brown dye on my hair (thought that would make me look cool). First of all it did not work at all. Second of all the chemical was horrible because it's a cheap garbage product. I started getting hair damage from the harsh chemicals, resulting in loose strands of hair falling off. I damaged my hair the second month in. It was a bad stumble in the journey as you can see. Despite that, retention had enough power to undo my fuckup and completely save my hair. On my current streak, as I got past day 30+, I started to notice there's no longer random strands falling off. Past 60+ days of retention, I noticed my hair becoming dense, lush, and long; and it was so firm that when I ran my hand through my hair there wouldn't be any loose strand. I still use zero shampoo, zero barber, and only occasional hair gel for cosmetic purpose. Right now, the longest hair on my head is 17cm. Science would say this is at the upper range of growth speed. Way above average. I would have gotten even more if I had not screwed myself with poor quality dye. this shows how impressive the human body is on retention. My diet is about 80% meats and 20% fruits. Occasional junk food such as diet coke and ice cream I let it slide. I get on average about 2200-2400 calories and 170-190g protein. I am at a point where I don't gain weight and don't lose weight either. Retention completely saved my hair by using the vital nutrients like bone marrow in my seed to convert into an extension of my skull. So strong and potent that it overrides chemical damage. There is a saying about "energy rising upwards". And I have lived it.

Made past Sunday without relapsing, I feel very good, high vibration and great mood. Sunday is usually the relapse day but not this time. There was a post by @Keith H about past people wanting to get in touch with you. Kinda crazy that today I received a call from a guy from my high school. We weren't even that great of friends but still today he called me and invited me to his wedding. He was very polite and sounded like wanted me to come. Maybe he's using the same script to everyone but still I am gonna use this opportunity to zone out for a bit. I will be revisiting my hometown after almost 5 yrs and will be reliving the nostalgic moments. Good days, SR is a breath of fresh air. I wanna keep doing this. Good things are happening. I feel calm, stable, at peace right now.

I have completed 30 days including a few nightfalls. I would've liked a clean streak but still this is a decent start for me. I feel good about this. It feels like I won against my opponent through a decision rather a knockout but still a win though. There's many benefits I've seen like good energy during workouts, skin improvement and just overall aura. I feel so secure about myself and it's kinda intimidating to others as well. I am more outspoken, direct and not afraid to speak my mind. I am calm yet aggressive too, it's a weird combo. My masculine frame has def improved. Regarding Female Attraction, this is totally working. I am talking to a girl and it feels like she's totally into me, calling me cute names n all, it's like high school love again. We're flirting and totally hitting on each other in indirect ways. She talks about hugs and spending time together, kinda ironic that it's long distance for now but still counts.I have such a calm demeanor. No matter what I say, it's like I don't even have to try hard. I am not having insane expectations from this but excited to see how it plays out. I am not desperate and stoic about this connection too. One of the hard things to deal with are obviously, sleep problems, some days I can sleep very well and many days not. I hope it gets better with time. The insane urges are sometimes too much deal with. With heavy workout, even more. Today, I had such a hard urge to relapse I can't tell how much I controlled myself. My mind once again played heavy tricks on me, but I constantly told myself - Nothing changes, if nothing changes and somehow let it go. Although my life hasn't changed dramatically, maybe it will get better with longer streak days but this is a great headstart. Thanks guys for your motivation during my relapses @Keith H @John Maynard and @Yosef H. your insane record motivates me to break it. @Evan Morgan my man thx again for creating this community. Hoping to be more active, helping out other folks and become an example.

For those of you dabbling in looksmaxxing, this is a sign that it's not over for you. Wake the fuck up and work harder. This is your motivation. +4 points jump in the beauty scale. While I dislike the term "looksmaxxing" - I think it creates mental illness - I believe in taking care of yourself and fixing your appearance. I have always preached long hair. Men look more attractive with long hair. They just took this pic of me today. I have abstained from haircuts for 5 months. I have grown a beautiful and powerful mane that suits my frame. This is for the doubters of long hair ...you have nothing to lose , go and try it I was 6'0 170lb in the first picture. Now I am still 6'0 170lb. My diet completely changed. From eating garbage school food full of carbs and 0 meat - to eating mostly meats and fruits. This caused an entire body recomposition with no weight loss. I have used benzoyl peroxide for my skin but they dont do shit. I switched to using honey on my face. Also started wearing ski masks during winter to prevent skin from tearing off. other lifestyle habits: constantly on long term retention, even if i fail i immediately get back up (the only method to get eye glow as far as i know); retention also gave me a naturally fearless and energetic facial expression; Cold shower; Unironically watching cutesy moeblob anime to lower cortisol; positive affirmations and prayer; mewing and gum chewing; calisthenics; binge watching retention contents to raise self esteem; Unironically sleeping more late at night so I fall asleep faster and get more quality rest; mindset change; taking selfies. Some of these methods are unconventional but just saying what worked for me. I love you guys. Don't ever give up. It's not over for you.