Oct 31 • Empowering Solo Parents
The Tantrum Volcano 🌋: How to Be the Calm in Their Storm ⛈️
Hey Superparents,
Let's talk tantrums. That moment the volcano erupts. A storm of competing feelings, everything spiraling, and no end in sight. And yes, I'm talking about our kids... mostly.
Here's the truth: They're just new at this. They are learning to regulate their bodies and their minds. Heck, let's be honest, we still struggle to regulate our emotions at our age. So, imagine the hurricane in their little minds when they're overwhelmed.
Yes, they'll be loud. But our job is to model what we want to see. We must be the calm, even when they're yelling in our face or rolling on the floor.
Get down to their level. Use a soft, quiet voice. Yelling back just adds fuel to their fire, or worse, it startles them into silence. And as you perfectly put it, "congrats, you just bottled an emotion that will come up later, stronger." That's not a win; it's just a problem for another day.
This isn't just "nice" parenting; it's a powerful psychological tool called Co-Regulation.
An article from the Child Mind Institute explains that co-regulation is the process where a calm adult's presence and support help a child calm their own nervous system. Because they haven't developed "self-regulation" yet, we have to act as their "external regulator." We are literally lending them our calm to help them find theirs.
Calm is contagious, just like chaos. It's frustrating at first, but you're building a connection.
And yes, it might happen in the middle of the supermarket. Forget the spotlight. Forget the judging eyes. Your child deserves your peace more than those strangers deserve your compliance. They need you to be their anchor and walk them through the storm, not abandon them to it.
By staying with them while they experience their big emotions, you are actively preventing the trauma of being left alone and teaching them that their feelings are valid, not shameful.
Stay strong, Superparents. This is the long game, and you're winning it.
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The Tantrum Volcano 🌋: How to Be the Calm in Their Storm ⛈️
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