Hit the first wall, how do I go around this?

So, I'm trying to reach out to community owners here on Skool but I can't reach them directly on Skool without getting into their community, so, I messaged them mostly on Instagram or Facebook. So far I only sent 10 messages but something feels wrong about my message:

"Hey [GROUP OWNER NAME], I just saw your Skool community. Amazing results! Would you be open to making $5k to $25k for doing a Zoom call?"

Do you think it's a message problem (too much "share saliva under the shower" lol), a volume problem (just keep going), a wrong channel (reach them somewhere else) or something else entirely?

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