8d (edited) • Live Interaction Reports HERE
Realizing I was never broken
I was studying Chinese in a coffee shop.
There was a girl sitting to my left. Something about her reminded me of a girl I dated back in Tunisia. I don’t know why, but I felt that same instinct in my belly again — that grounded sexual pull.
At first I didn’t approach her directly. I asked her for the Wi-Fi because I actually needed it.
But the impulse to express myself was too strong to ignore.
So I just said:
“Hey, you’re cute.”
She was immediately taken aback and said:
“Wow… you’re very forward.”
And that moment was interesting to me because usually when I say something like that, I’m used to getting some form of rejection or deflection.
But this felt different.
It felt congruent.
Not just a timid “hey you’re cute,” but a real expression.
So we started talking.
She told me she’s into coaching. I told her I’m also into coaching. We talked about traveling, what we do, where we live, little things about our lives.
After a few minutes I said:
“Nice meeting you, Naomi.”
And I went back to studying Chinese.
ASKING HER OUT:
A few minutes later my phone battery was about to die.
And I felt the impulse again — I wanted her number.
So I turned to her again.
“Hey Naomi, do you live around here?”
She said she lives in Griffintown.
I told her:
“That’s close to where I live. I’m going to take you out.”
I said it very directly.
And I could see it shook her a bit.
She looked at me and said:
“You’re just going to state it like that? You’re not even going to ask?”
I said:
“Yeah. I mean… are you okay with that?”
She smiled and said yes.
So I said:
“Okay, give me your number.”
She called herself from my phone and then asked:
“What should I expect, a text or a call?”
I said:
“A call.”
And that was it.
Later when we left, I gave her a hug and went on my way.
And I could feel that it was a genuine hug. Not the polite kind. There was real warmth in it — almost a heart-to-heart kind of feeling.
WHAT WAS DIFFERENT:
What struck me most about the interaction is that it wasn’t forced.
I wasn’t trying to perform.
I wasn’t trying to impress.
I wasn’t trying to be the funny guy or the entertaining guy.
There was still some fear in my body, and I noticed a small part of me trying to maintain composure.
But overall, I was simply following my natural curiosity and expression.
My energy went up and down naturally.
Sometimes excited.
Sometimes calm.
And I didn’t try to control it.
That’s what made it feel so congruent.
“I’M FIXED!”
Right after the interaction, I felt excited.
And immediately my brain went:
“Oh my god… it worked. I’m fixed!”
Which is hilarious.
Because I can clearly see that this is another trap.
The mind always wants to declare victory.
Even writing this post is technically another version of that trap — the mind wanting to share the success.
But the difference now is that I can see it.
And when I see it, the pressure behind it disappears.
A BIG REALIZATION ABOUT ATTRACTION:
One thing I realized today is that I don’t actually choose who I’m attracted to.
In the past, I used to chase very specific types of women.
But when I look honestly, those attractions were often tied to desire and projection.
I would associate a woman with some kind of reward or identity upgrade.
And that created massive performance anxiety.
Because suddenly the interaction felt like life or death.
Like I had something huge to lose.
But as I started releasing the need for women to validate me, something shifted.
Now it’s more like:
I can talk to any girl.
Some will respond positively.
Some won’t.
And it’s genuinely okay.
Not from a defensive “I don’t give a shit.”
But from a place of internal alignment.
FOLLOWING THE FLOW:
Another thing I noticed is how each interaction has its own natural flow.
You can’t force it.
Some interactions are excited and playful.
Some are calm and relaxed.
Some last five minutes.
Some last thirty seconds.
And none of that means anything about your value or how “good” you are.
They’re just different.
REFRAMING REJECTION:
Looking back now at all the girls who “rejected” me, something interesting happens.
They don’t feel that important anymore.
And I’m starting to see it differently.
Maybe those interactions weren’t failures.
Maybe they were simply misalignment.
The universe filtering out the wrong people.
Quality over quantity.
Today I met Naomi, and from the little conversation we had, we aligned on multiple levels — travel, coaching, values.
And maybe that’s the point.
Not to convince everyone.
But to find the people where the alignment is real.
THE CLUB REALIZATION:
This also connects to something I experienced recently at a club.
I realized I didn’t actually want to be there.
I didn’t feel like talking to the girls.
I didn’t feel connected to the people there.
They just weren’t my people.
And that was eye-opening.
Because I spent years thinking:
“If I’m not succeeding here, something must be wrong with me.”
But maybe nothing was wrong.
Maybe I just wasn’t aligned with that environment.
THE NEXT LEVEL:
What I’m noticing now is that another layer is appearing.
Even in this interaction with Naomi, there was still a small part of me concerned about how I might come across.
And the next step seems to be dropping that even more.
Because once you’re not attached to the interaction going well…
A different question appears.
Not:
“Does she like me?”
But:
“Do I actually like her?”
That’s a completely different frame.
And it feels much more honest.
So no…
I’m probably not fixed.
But something is definitely shifting.
The realizations are starting to anchor deeper in my body.
And the process keeps unfolding.
One layer at a time.
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Realizing I was never broken
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