I've not told my partner about the GMM, until tonight. They confronted me about an alarm they saw an alarm that I had labelled "Appearing to be Good" an activity I was doing from NMMNG. I tried to explain what the course was and why I was doing it.
My partner just saw it as another way of trying to change myself, another endeavour to be perfect. They said why can't I see that trying to change is changing the person they love.
We ended it on we aren't going to agree that I do this course, but I can do what I want.
They said I'm looking at it like a problem to fix and I need to just let stuff go.
It's like I have everything I want to tell them about why I'm doing it, what I feel it wrong with me, why I want to change and then they make points that I agree with and I just lose all direction of where I want to take the conversation
I'm lost lads, I've got everything I want right in front of me and I feel like I'm pushing it away and I don't know how to stop it.