I finally figured out my breakout story. I had a lot of material to sift through.

I grew up an unloved and neglected child. I made my parents uncomfortable.I searched for love everywhere. The harder I searched, the more elusive it became.I imagined a life where someone would finally see me, choose me, and keep me safe.

When my first marriage spiraled out of control from my husband’s debts, he drove us to Alaska in an old jeep. We arrived homeless, living an entire summer in a tent before the six of us ended up living in a one-room cabin with no water or electricity.

I hauled five-gallon jugs of water from town.I split firewood with a baby on my back.I bathed my children in a Rubbermaid tote with water warmed on a woodstove. Every day was a battle for survival.

My spouse controlled everything. “I own you,” he'd say. But I finally escaped.

I wasn’t done repeating old wounds. I married again. Another mistake.

I’ve had three significant relationships.

All three men acted like they hated me but called it love.

One of my partners tried to kill me and my children. But we miraculously survived, and that made me believe in the divine hand of God.

Another was a violent tempest of rage, betrayal, sex addiction, and manipulation. That one made me see for the first time that demons walk the earth.

If not for my children, I don’t know if I would still be alive. For them I fought.

My breaking point came when I finally faced the truth: people who claim to love me will happily destroy me without guilt or remorse. I had to accept that having goodness inside me did not mean others lived from that same place.

It shattered the last of my illusions. It broke me open.And it freed me.

But the next phase of my life was tough.Years of grinding.Working endlessly to stay afloat.Feeling alone, exhausted, spiritually empty.

And then the truth hit me: I’d been ignoring my soul — the same soul that had guided me through every danger, every childbirth, every escape.

So, I began listening again. Quietly. Softly. One tiny tug at a time.

I took baby steps toward the life I actually wanted. I learned to honor myself. I stopped searching for love outside myself. I rebuilt the relationship I had with my own spirit.

My children grew into their own families. The house went quiet. And I faced the next chapter: walking alone.

Now, I choose differently.I’m not chasing love or validation anymore.I’m centering myself in my calling, my intuition, my spirit. I stand strong for my children and grandchildren.

And even on the days when I feel hollow, there is still a divine spark inside me whispering, “Keep going.”

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