Eight days to go, and it’s feeling really real right now. The fact that I’m getting off to Bali in just over a week is scary as fuck, but I woke up this morning in a much better place.
AND THAT FELT LIKE A SHIFT
I slept well last night, and I wasn’t going to allow the anxiety to start to take a hold and take over everything, so it was a fresh mindset today, and that felt really good. Waking up and just cracking on.
I got an email back from the accommodation that I’m staying at when I first get to Bali, confirming that it’s all a go, that everything’s okay, and I don’t need to worry about anything there, so that’s all sorted.
THAT HELPED ME FEEL MORE PREPARED
I’ll be doing my visa on Friday. I’m not gonna lie, I hate paperwork, I absolutely hate it, just in case I do it wrong, because I know if I do it wrong then obviously that’s going to cause a whole heap of problems, so I need a clear head to be able to do that.
I’ve also been sorting out with my adult kids a weekend in April for us to go and scatter my dad’s ashes, before me and Lil head off to Bali for a permanent move.
THIS BIT FEELS IMPORTANT
This feels like another way of letting go of the stuff that’s been there for us and held onto us for so long. We decided on going to a place that I went to a lot as a kid called Wells- Next-To Sea.
I took my kids there camping when they were younger, and Lil’s been there a few times as well. It’s just a beautiful place, and my dad loved it there, so it feels really nice that we’ve put the wheels in motion for that.
We’ve booked accommodation so we can all be together under one roof, which is going to be really chaotic, but also really fun at the same time, so I’m actually looking forward to that.
ANOTHER THING TICKED OFF THE LIST
I focused quite a bit on work today, which was nice, because I actually felt like I could concentrate on the things I wanted to do. I attended a couple of sessions I wanted to attend, and I absolutely loved both of them, which really helped keep my mind off the overwhelm and the typical ADHD and dyslexia mix of chaos in my head.
AND THIS IS HOW I’M COPING TODAY
I’m sitting here with my passport on my desk next to me so I know where it is at all times, because I have a tendency to panic that I’ve lost it when I put it somewhere “safe”.
My safe places are never actually safe, because I forget where my safe places are, so I’ve literally got it right next to me so there’s no last-minute drama of “shit, where’s my passport”.
As long as I’ve got my passport and my bank cards, I’ll be fine. Everything else is kind of neither here nor there.
I also received the bits I ordered for crocheting on the plane, which is nice, because they’ll fit nicely into my carry-on bag and give me something to do when I need distraction.
I don’t want to read or watch anything. I just want to calm myself a bit.
AND THAT’S WHERE I’M AT TODAY
Today’s been a lot better.
The anxiety’s been less.
I’m not feeling as chaotic.
And to be quite frank, I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.
Me and Lil are going to the cinema to watch the new Avatar film and just spend a bit of time together, mummy and daughter time, which will be really lovely.
Especially with it being a week before I head off…
Not her.
She’ll be heading to her sister’s.