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Jan 19 •
AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO A TROPICAL PLACE 🏝️
As long as I can remember I’ve always wanted to go to a tropical place. Bali first came onto my radar probably about 15–20 years ago and for me it was like the dream place to go to, but I’d never thought that it would be something that would come to reality, that I would ever be able to go. FOR ME, THIS ALWAYS FELT OUT OF REACH 👀 For me going to Bali has always been one of them out-of-reach dreams, but that’s no longer the case. That dream has become reality after a good few years of complete shit that’s happened, and taking the time to really decide on what matters for me in life and what I really want out of my life, I decided that fuck it. Why not aim for this dream? This big dream. Why not make going to Bali a reality? AND THERE’S MORE TO THIS STORY. I had a car accident six years ago that was quite a horrific one, but that’s a story for another day, and as a result of that I had quite a severe shoulder injury that saw me being given a payout that actually opened my eyes to so many possibilities. My awesome friend Mimi lives in Bali, and seeing her pictures and videos every day just made that dream cement even deeper into my brain. Like… I want this. I really want this. I want to be there. Every time we went on holiday, every time we went somewhere, it just felt harder to come home. THEN THIS HAPPENED 😁 Mimi is doing a retreat in Bali, and when she first posted about it I was very much like, I would love to do that. I’ve always wanted to go on a retreat and do something that’s just solely for me, but I never really thought that was a possibility. Being a single parent, not having a dad in the picture to be able to pick up the slack when I want time out, it just kind of left me with no options really. My adult kids are really helpful and they support where they can, but the girls have got their own kids now and their own lives, it’s hectic, it’s busy, and my son is the same. AND THEN THE MONEY CAME THROUGH 💸 And when I had that money come through, I just knew that this was something I could do for myself.
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5d •
DREAMS GOING FULL THROTTLE, OLD PATTERNS TRYING TO SNEAK BACK IN WHEN EVERYTHING HAPPENS AT ONCE
LAST WEEK FLEW BY So many epic things happening all at once and I noticed that being back some of my old patterns were creeping in and that’s not something that I want to continue. We had a busy week with workmen coming in because I’m having solar panels added to my home. I had four grandchildren over the weekend and last week there was so much planning happening in regards to mine and Lily’s move to Bali. The adaptations to my home were only told to me just before I went on my solo trip to Bali and since coming back it’s been full throttle. Workmen coming in to do different assessments on the property and add things that need to be added like the electrics and stuff for the solar panels and then I got the phone call that they’re actually fitting them this week. It’s been like a whirlwind. But it’s good because it lowers our outgoings and it’s better for the environment and the electricity is made from natural resources that the universe provides us. AUADHD, JUGGLING AND REALITY HITTING Now the planning for our move to Bali has been epic in every way, but it has disrupted my thinking when it comes to business and day-to-day life. But that’s just part of having AuADHD and dyslexia. Things are not always smooth sailing and can get muddled when you’re trying to juggle a lot of things at once. So as all this planning goes on, mine and Lily’s visa is now in process which has been epic and exciting but also nerve racking at the same time because reality is hitting in now. This is really real. THE VILLA, THE TEARS AND THE “OH SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING” MOMENT I’ve also secured accommodation which was a whole thing in itself. The property was advertised, a friend saw it within an hour or so of it being advertised and then when I woke up I messaged them. My friend went to view it for me. It was like 1 o’clock in the morning my time but she went to view it and I just woke up a little bit before that naturally, but obviously with intuition telling me this is when she’s going to see it.
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2d •
What Is Interoception? (Why You Forget to Eat, Drink or Go to the Toilet)
Ever Suddenly Realise You’re Starving… and Haven’t Eaten All Day? Or feel an urgent need to go to the toilet with almost no warning? Or suddenly feel overwhelmed without understanding why? That’s often connected to something called interoception. And many neurodivergent people experience differences in it. If this helped you understand interoception in neurodiversity, explore the rest of the A–Z of Neurodiversity for grounded, real-life explanations. And if you’re navigating this as a neurodivergent mum, you’re welcome inside Mums Embracing Neurodiversity for support that understands nervous systems.
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3d •
What Is Brain Fog? (Why Your Brain Feels Slow, Blurry or Overwhelmed)
Does Your Brain Feel Like It’s Running on iOS 1? You walk into a room and forget why you’re there. You read the same sentence five times and still don’t take it in. You open a message… and the words just won’t come. That heavy, blurry, staticky feeling? That’s often brain fog. And no — it isn’t stupidity. It isn’t laziness. And it isn’t lack of effort. If this helped you understand brain fog in neurodiversity, explore the rest of the A–Z of Neurodiversity for grounded, real-life explanations. And if you’re navigating this as a neurodivergent mum, you’re welcome inside Mums Embracing Neurodiversity for support that actually understands mental load.
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3d •
WHAT CHANGE ACTUALLY FEELS LIKE
It’s not dramatic. It’s the quiet moments where you suddenly realise life is different. I open my eyes and it’s still DARK. The house is in complete silence except for the soft clicking of the heating moving through the radiators. I roll over to check the time. Yennifer, my cat, is laying next to me and she is NOT impressed that I’ve just woken her up. 🐈⬛ I pick up my phone and see that it’s not even 6am, but my body has clearly decided it’s had enough sleep and it’s time to get up. So I navigate the house in complete darkness while Lily is still asleep. The kitchen is COLD and DARK when I walk in. I flick the light on and it blinds my eyes for a second while they adjust. I grab my morning glass of COCONUT WATER 🥥 and head over to the exercise equipment. Every morning since being back from BALI I’ve done some form of exercise before anything else. It’s helped massively with my energy levels, my mental clarity and my physical abilities. Movement first thing in the morning produces natural DOPAMINE, SEROTONIN and ENDORPHINS. And it sets the tone for the ENTIRE day. So I step onto the vibrating plate and look out of the window as the darkness slowly starts turning into light. 🌅 While the vibrating plate hums under my feet and my body shakes in all the right places, my mind starts moving through the list of things I want to achieve today. Work things. Personal things. Things that need doing for the move to BALI. It’s like my brain is quietly organising the day while my muscles release the tension. At the time it just felt like a normal morning. But by the end of the day I’d realised how much life had quietly CHANGED. And standing there shaking on the vibrating plate makes me think of something... Animals. 🐾 When animals go through something stressful or an interaction they don’t like, they SHAKE IT OUT. It’s how they release whatever just happened to them. Standing there vibrating, I suddenly wonder if this is what that feels like. Is this the release they get?
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Documenting my journey: real, raw life as a neurodiverse mum. First solo trip to Bali 🏝️
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