A Model For Mental Toughness - Alex Hermozi
I was watching a video from Alex Hormozi recently, where he talks about mental toughness, which he defines as: “The chance that a bad thing changes how you act in a way that goes against your goals.” So it’s not “you have it or you don’t.” It’s: How much do you have? And from there, he breaks mental toughness into four components: 1. Tolerance 2. Fortitude 3. Resilience 4. Adaptability I want to walk through each one in simple terms, with real-life style examples, and then connect this to emotional resiliency and where I see we tend to become emotionally reactive. 1. Tolerance – How Long Before You Snap? Tolerance is: How much hardship you can take on (or how long it can last) before your behavior changes. In Hormozi’s words, this is your fuse. How much can you tolerate before you diverge from how you normally act? - If you have high tolerance: it takes a lot to rock your boat. - If you have low tolerance: small things can set you off. Example: - High tolerance:Your day goes sideways—traffic, a rude email, plans get canceled. You’re annoyed, you feel it, but you still show up to your commitments. You might vent a little, but you don’t start snapping at everyone or abandoning what mattered to you. - Low tolerance:One small thing goes wrong—someone doesn’t text back, a coworker makes a comment—and suddenly your whole day is “ruined.” You shut down, cancel things, or lash out at people who had nothing to do with it. Tolerance is about that first moment where discomfort hits. Do we immediately react, or do we have some space before we do? 2. Fortitude – How Far Down Do You Go? Fortitude is: How intense your behavior change is once your tolerance has been passed. In other words: Once you’re over the edge, how far do you fall? - High fortitude: Your behavior doesn’t get that extreme, even when you’re upset. - Low fortitude: When you’re triggered, you don’t just step off the path—you jump off the cliff. Example: - High fortitude:You get into an argument with your partner. You’re hurt, you’re mad, maybe you raise your voice a bit. Then you decide to step outside, breathe, and come back to talk it through. You veered off, but not that far. - Low fortitude:Same argument. This time, in the heat of it, you say something cruel you can’t take back, slam doors, threaten to leave, or go do something self-destructive (binge eating, drinking, doomscrolling, etc.). One trigger turns into a full spiral.