1d • General discussion
To all men especially, give me your 2 minutes
Today I want to talk about something important, especially to the men here. It’s a huge community, MashaAllah, and this needs to be said.
Today I was serving chai to my Papa and Chacho. When my Chacho finished his tea, he came to the kitchen, handed me the cup, put his hand on my head, and said, “Thank you beta. Allah Ta’ala naseeb achay karein.”
He used to say the same thing in Ramzan. When we spent the last few fasts together, he would make dua before iftar. The one I remember most clearly was: “Allah Ta’ala hamari betiyon ke naseeb achay karein.”
As I’ve grown up, I’ve noticed that this is the only dua most girls ever get: naseeb, naseeb, bas naseeb.
Now that I’m older, I think I understand why.
I’ve seen women living happily in their homes, and I’ve also seen women treated terribly at their in-laws. So where does the difference come from?
If you’re a man reading this, I want you to know: you can’t imagine the fear parents carry for their daughters’ naseeb, and the fear girls carry for their own.
I don’t understand why it feels so difficult to just live happily together, to fulfill each other’s responsibilities and wishes, to respect one another, to trust one another.
I think most of the problem comes from the fact that we only see our own point of view. We don’t try to step into someone else’s shoes and ask: Why is this important to them? Why do they feel this way? So many problems could be solved if we simply tried to understand things from the other person’s side.
Allah Ta’ala made men qawwam, protectors and maintainers but He never gave them the right to disrespect the women in their homes. No right to mistreat them, belittle them, or deny their humanity.
I don’t know who becomes toxic in this process, but please think about it this way: someone raises a child, a daughter, with so much care. She’s delicate, sensitive. For 25 years they nurture her, and then they hand her over to you, trusting you with her life. Honor that trust.
She is human too. She left her home, her parents, her comfort, her life, her hobbies, just to become part of your family. Handle her with love and respect. At the very least, give her the basic respect that every relationship deserves whether love grows later or not.
Try, just once, to see the world from her side. Ask yourself:
If this was my sister, would I accept this? If this was my daughter, would I call this love?
If you can do that, most of the problems we see will end right there.
She’s human. Treat her like it.
Because one day, you’ll also be someone’s father. And you’ll understand why “Allah tumhare naseeb achay karein” is the heaviest dua a parent can make.
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To all men especially, give me your 2 minutes
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