“²The ego always speaks first. ³It is capricious and does not mean its maker well. (ACIM, T-6.IV.1:2-3)”
I’m reminded of this quote during experiences presenting as antagonizing a stress response. The thinking mind enjoys being a spin-artist of endless suggestions about why a stimulus is wrong and should be judged.
The thinking mind thrives on guessing and surmising all the ways that a situation or other person involved “could have or should have [insert guilt or blame] which definitely means [insert terrible effects].”
I find it interesting when I consciously take the minute to pause and listen to what the thinking mind is ‘telling’ me. Listening from a neutral stance allows for the opportunity to observe and then ask questions of the ‘witness.’ Sitting in a neutral space, taking on the role of a message detective can be helpful in that we then have a buffer of open observation to simply see again.
I picture myself lovingly looking at the ego, as if it sits in a chair across the table from me, “Okay, so what you are saying is that I should conclude by [this experience] happening that I’m [sad, angry, lonely, attacked…]” “Tell me though” I respond, “if I did what you suggest, what would I gain?” Then I wait.
In most cases I don’t receive a logical response. The chaos 'heard' is usually more hyped up suggestions on why me feeling bad or angry about the situation is somehow perceived as purposeful at least and vindicated at best. Silly, silly ego! It tries sooo damn hard!
Sometimes instead the ego is seen as a simple raving vocalization of staccato like accusations or judgments, rattling away with thought after thought in definite conclusions, barely taking a breath, only wishing for me to feel negative. This too can be observed for what it is… insanity.
I’m so grateful to have ACIM teach me to take a tiny step of willingness to ask “What is this for?” Here, the tiniest bit of chosen space can lead to a vastness of impenetrable Peace of mind.