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Why does it have to be so hard?
I’ve been thinking about what it really takes to be great at coaching, and there’s a mindset shift that feels important to share…
A lot of people step into coaching with an unspoken expectation:
I want to get better at this… but I don’t want it to feel hard.
And I get it…
But the reality is, growth doesn’t work like that.
The hard isn’t a sign that something’s wrong.
It’s part of the process.
The difference between people who grow into great coaches and those who stall out isn’t that one group finds a way to avoid what’s hard.
It’s that they learn how to stay with it.
It’s not about trying to remove the challenge.
It’s about building the capacity to move through it.
And here’s where it becomes even more important for coaches…
We ask our clients to stay with what’s hard.
To not avoid discomfort.
To keep going when things feel uncertain or uncomfortable.
There has to be congruence there.
If we’re not willing to face our own hard…
if we pull back when it gets uncomfortable…
it becomes much harder to ask someone else to stay in it.
But when we do stay with it, something shifts.
We’re not just teaching it, we’re modelling it.
And that’s where coaching becomes far more powerful.
So instead of asking, “How do I get better at this without this feeling so hard?”…
The better question becomes…
“How do I get better at coaching and get better at doing hard things?”
That shift is liberating.
It lets you stop fighting the process and start working with it.
If this truly matters to you, then it’s worth accepting the full package…
It will stretch you
It will challenge you
It will require consistency
And it will be hard
The goal isn’t to eliminate that.
The goal is to become someone who can meet it and keep moving forward.
You don’t need to choose between growth and discomfort.
You need to learn how to do both.
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Why does it have to be so hard?
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