Check out the post by @Lisa Black about the-quiet-cost of silence and share your thoughts!

“The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the best version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great. We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.” --Kelly, The Rhythm of Life: Living Every Day with Passion and Purpose ---------- We don’t rise or fall in isolation...The people around us shape and influence what we tolerate, what we reach for, and who we believe we’re allowed to become. They can help encourage us towards the best version of ourselves but they can also help us maintain the status quo. Some relationships help us raise the bar without shaming us, others lower it without us even noticing it. We've talked a lot about growth in this group...But growth isn't always about strategies/discipline/process...Sometimes it's about proximity to others who will either serve to help or hinder our growth. Also....maybe a good opportunity to look at ourselves too! How are WE showing up in others' lives? (A previous post about friendships here:soul-friends-or-soul-drains ) POLL: The people around me: ___________________ QUESTION:Who in your life brings out your best self and who keeps you comfortably smaller? QUESTION: What’s one quality you want more of in the people you surround yourself with? ACTION: Make a list of the people you spend most time with (in person or virtually) --identify how these individuals make you feel (e.g. energized, honest, aligned, numb, small, etc) VIDEO: Start watching around minute 8 VIDEO 2: Came across this gem that I'll probably use in a different post.

Blessings today and always dear @Georgiana D ❣️ Thank you for being YOU !!!

"Confrontation" comes from the Medieval Latin confrontare, meaning "to border" or "to be next to". This Latin term combines com- ("together" or "with") and frontem ("forehead"). The word implies a situation of being brought "face-to-face" or "standing close enough to touch foreheads,". I say this because often times we view confrontation as something negative as opposed to an opportunity for growth, deeper understanding, and alignment. We view it negatively because often times there's a history and our own experiences where we've been misunderstood or wounded or have had examples of conflict that did turn out negative. Instead of leaning in, there's a 'fight or flight' response that happens. Below, we go over the communication styles that wound/kill relationships. Although, underneath the behavior is usually a protective part, they end up disconnecting us from each other. Their antidotes are also present because....recognition/insight is important, BUT action is required if we want things to be more whole. Here we go! (This is a summary based on a few articles on the gottman site) The PDF is just an accessible version of the same thing if you want to print it out/give it out. The TEDTalk is put on by the Gottmans--the individuals that dedicated their lives to studying relationshihps and the ones that coined "The four horsemen of relationships". *****The material is pretty much the same, just different styles of taking in information for those of us who learn in different ways**** 🐴 1. Criticism → Gentle Start-Up ✨ - Criticism attacks a person’s character. ( “You always talk about yourself. Why are you always so selfish?" "You never listen to me" ) - Antidote: Share how you feel and what you need using “I” statements ( “I’m feeling left out of our talk tonight and I'd like a space to vent. Can we please talk about my day?” "Can we take some time to talk about something that's important to me tonight?" --notice that you can state what you need without an attack on the other person)

Bias: We are meant for connection. For relationship. To see and be seen. These relationships do not have to be romantic in nature, but connection keeps us alive. Below is an image of The Sound Relationship House--Built by the Gottmans. The Gottmans are known for their very extensive research on couples --research on marital stability and divorce prediction. The Sound Relationship House (SRH) is a model for building strong and lasting relationships. The different layers of the home represent the different aspects of a successful relationship. Over time, I plan on breaking down each of the levels more in depth (and each of the components within the levels will require further exploration as well) , but this is a brief overview of each of the levels. 🏠 The Sound Relationship House (SRH) 1. Bottom Floor: BUILD LOVE MAPS 🗺️❤️ - Know each other’s inner world: needs, values, past experiences, priorities, stresses - Keep love maps updated as partners evolve - Ask open-ended questions to stay connected 2️⃣ SHARE FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION 🌸💌 - Express appreciation often - Build emotional bank account with love and admiration - Feel loved and admired consistently 3️⃣ TURNING TOWARDS VS. AWAY 🔄💞 - Notice small bids for attention and connection - Turn towards your partner most of the time - These floors build friendship, intimacy, and passion 4️⃣ POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE 🌞💭 - Focus on positive sentiments over occasional negative behaviors - Strong friendship + good conflict management = positive perspective - Not directly worked on but influenced by lower floors 5️⃣ MANAGE CONFLICT ⚖️🔥Six key skills: 1. Softened start-up: “I feel…” instead of blaming 2. Accept influence: compromise and respect each other’s opinions 3. Make repairs: fix conversation before it spirals 4. De-escalate quarrels: calm the Four Horsemen dynamics 5. Self-soothe: take a break to calm down 6. Process & recover: bounce back after a fight 6️⃣ MAKE LIFE DREAMS COME TRUE 🌟🎯