Today, as the UK celebrates Mothering Sunday, the air is often filled with a singular narrative that doesn't always reflect the complexity of our lived experiences. Mothering Day often carries a heavy weight, especially when the traditional narrative of a maternal bond doesn't align with the reality of our own lives. Reframing this day as a celebration of all forms of caregiving allows us to honour the love that shows up in every shape and form, from the friends who hold space for our growth to the way we nurture ourselves and our chosen families. It is a powerful shift to move away from the grief of what was missing and instead focus on the warmth we actively cultivate, whether that is through being a devoted "cat mumma" or simply showing up for the people who truly see us. Choosing to "love on" yourself is perhaps the most radical act of care on a day like this, as it acknowledges that the most important nurturing often comes from within. When we release the expectation of accountability from those who cannot provide it, we reclaim our capacity to celebrate every caregiver, every honorary figure, and every woman who leads with a heart of service. The expression of this care is rarely a single, uniform note, as it lives in the quiet dedication of showing up, the fierce protection of boundaries, and the gentle compassion we offer to our own healing. Whether it manifests as the steady presence of a mentor, the playful loyalty of a companion, or the profound strength it takes to mother oneself, these different facets of devotion all weave into the same essential fabric of love. By acknowledging that motherly care is a quality of the heart rather than a biological obligation, we open the space to value every person who provides safety and warmth. This day belongs to every one of those manifestations, honouring the resilience it takes to give and receive care on our own terms. Recognising these varied expressions of love naturally leads us back to our own centre, where the practice of nurturing others finds its necessary balance in the way we sustain ourselves.

You know, we all struggle with being human, no way around... One way or another, we are challenged with life circumstances. 🌍 What I observe within myself and others is, that it's easy to be reactive instead of responsive. The difference is that to respond is being response able, and for me, it is also the ability to align what I do with the good of all others. Reactions are great and important as they keep us alive in life threatening circumstances. Though sometimes, we react just because our identity or that which we believe in is challenged. But who and what am I really and is my identity more important than others... I don't think so. I also don't think that humans are born greedy. I think humans are born kind and wise, playful and honest. Now, I want to invite us all into a moment if silent reflection and reading in-between the lines, as my words mean something, the underlying message is way deeper than that. I ask you to see where you might been reacting instead of responding. A moment will come in which you can choose differently and choose loving kindness over greediness. 🙏 A place like skool is interesting as people want to make the best out of it. Though is the best for you also the best for all others?... I want us all to contemplate about that, me included. Is what I'm doing and being of benefit for the people I share space with? Is it allowing us to be at peace? The time of dividing ourselves is over. When we unite as one, we are so much more powerful to create a world of peace and loving kindness. Silence is power. If that made you speechless, sit in it and allow the wisdom to emerge. In love Jarne 💜

@Veronika Hübner wrote this thoughtful piece. Take a look!!! the-biology-of-limerence-why-the-brain-mistakes-drama-for-love And some added videos for myself (or you)--I use these things in my outside world).

We often hear that healthy relationships require reciprocity and some of us think that it has to be some kind of a 1:1 ratio. Buuut, reciprocity isn’t about keeping score or making sure everything is perfectly equal. Although the words sounds transactional, it's not a formulaic transaction. It's is more about mutual investment that hopefully comes from a place of love. It’s the feeling that care, effort, attention, and emotional presence move in both directions over time. It's one of the ways that love can be put in action. ( But, there will be times when someone can do us no good and love can still be present, even if reciprocity is not. :)--that's a topic for a different day) It can mean that both people initiate sometimes, or maybe one is better about initiating/planning, but the other one is always down to do things and is better about execution part. It can mean that support flows both ways during hard moments and that one person isn’t "always: the emotional container. **Effort feels appreciated and naturally returned** When reciprocity is missing, people often describe feeling drained, taken for granted, uncertain where they stand, or like they're the ones carrying the relationship "If it wasn't for me, I don't think they'd ever reach out" (I hear this one a lot). Friendly reminder on this--this is typically a cue to check in with yourself and see what's being activated for you that YOU are overfunctioning, that you are allowing for this pattern to be part of your story, that you may be struggling with boundaries, etc. Because...Ultimately, you're reponsible for yourself and what you do. Healthy reciprocity tends to feel calm, steady, and secure. It doesn't feel forced, or negotiated constantlyj. It just ends up being kind of naturally balanced over time. (Again, there are certain things/relationships in life where we'd have to adjust our definition of reciprocity depending on the type of relationship, but it's still a point worth reflecting on in terms of having satisfying relationships).

Here's a not so hot take: Fear (not hate) is the true opposite of love. From a psychological perspective love is closely tied to secure attachment which has the following features: openness, trust, emotional regulation, and the ability to stay connected even when things feel uncomfortable. When we feel loved, the nervous system settles... We are open to listening more easily, we are able to stay open/present instead of pulling away, we can let down the armor that we hold up. Fear,however, activates our threat response (our fight/flight/freeze response). It sends alarm signals saying that something isn't safe. When our brains sense danger (physical or emotional or spiritual), it shifts into protection mode. Why wouldn't it? This is often how this can look relationally: Fight--criticism, anger, hostility (this can look like hate, right?) ; Flight--withdrawal, avoidance, shutting d down; Freeze--numbness, detachment. These type of responses end up being about survival, rather than connection...and these types of responses often lead to disconnection---the very think that people in relationship/friendship don't actually want. So, what can look like coldness, indifference, or even hate is often fear underneath: Fear of rejection/abandonment, fear of vulnerability, fear of losing safety, identity, or control. Fear disrupts the psychological safety that love requires.. So maybe part of love is being able to create a space where another human being doesn't feel the need to protect themselves from us. I love that the Greek language has like 7 different definitions for love. My favorite: Agape (A love that is expressed as a choice and a posture, not just a feeling; Agape is love that seeks the good of another, even when it costs you something). POLL:What most often triggers your emotional “shutdown” in relationships? QUESTIONS TO PONDER:Who in your life helps your heart feel calm, safe, and able to stay open? When you notice yourself shutting down, what is the fear underneath it trying to protect?