I was looking on one of our bookshelves this morning and I saw this book "Anam Cara: A book of Celtic Wisdom". I still haven't read it (my TBR list is HEFTY), but the title (along with recent separate conversations with @John D and @Dr. Melissa Partaka ) made me think of friendships and the type of friendships that are really soul nourishing and the types that just seem to be...not that. The people we walk with in our life shape our nervous system, influence our stress responses, and affect the health of our brains (prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and reward pathways). The impact of the company we keep is significant and so important for our health and longevity. "Social connection is widely acknowledged to be a fundamental human need, linked to higher well‐being, safety, resilience and prosperity, and to longer lifespan" (Social connection as a critical factor for mental and physical health: evidence, trends, challenges, and future implications - PMC) We live in a world where we have so much potential for access and yet we are facing a loneliness epidemic. People are feeling disconnected, lonely, isolated. So...how can we connect? Part of it is assessing and surrounding ourselves with individuals that nourish us. Two concepts to help identify what good friendships feel like: Anam Cara comes from Celtic tradition and means soul friend. "Soul Friend" - the kind of relationship where you feel seen, known, and accepted at a deep level. It removes the masks and creates space for honesty, healing, and growth. People often feel disconnected because they don't experience these things. To see and be seen is one of the greatest gifts of good relationships. Philia is the Greek word for affectionate friendship. It describes loyal, supportive, mutually respectful connection. It is friendship based on virtue, trust, and shared goodwill. It's a relationship that looks out for the benefit of the other. :)

While we can't always manage how others process information, how we communicate matters as it can set the tone for how a conversation goes. The article below provides a more in depth look at each of the styles and covers some of the challenges that occur with some of them. We will explore this more in depth in the future with some added videos, but for now, here's a quick overview: ✨ Types of Communication Styles ✨ 😶 Passive – avoids conflict, holds back feelings, often says “it’s fine” when it’s not. 😡 Aggressive – dominates conversations, interrupts, uses a forceful tone. 🤐 Passive-Aggressive – appears calm but expresses frustration indirectly (sarcasm, silent treatment). 😌 Assertive – clear, respectful, and confident while also listening to others. -------------- https://mentalhealthhotline.org/understanding-communication-styles/ --------------- Questions to ponder: 👉 Which style do you notice in yourself most often? Do you switch depending on th e situation? 🧐 There are often reasons for how we communicate, what are those?

Codependency is a topic that comes up a lot and I was so surprised that I hadn't made a post about it yet. Codependency is a relationship pattern where one person becomes overly responsible for another person's emotions, needs, or decisions. It can feel like deep caring, loyalty, or devotion, but below the surface it often creates imbalance and emotional strain. Often it's a relationship dynamic where one person becomes the "giver" sacrificing their own needs/wellbeing for the sake of the other "the taker". 🚩Common Signs of Codependency -Feeling responsible for other people's feelings -Difficulty saying no even when you want to; doing things you don't want to to make the other person happy -Anxiety when someone is upset with you -Seeking validation through being helpful or indispensable; excessive need to get approval -Prioritizing others consistently at the expense of yourself; ignoring/minimizing your own feelings; tendency to neglect your own desires and needs -Feeling guilty when taking time for your needs -Staying in relationships that leave you depleted -A tendency to apologize or take the blame to keep the peace and avoid conflict -Changing your mood to reflect how others feel or behave -Excessive concern about that person’s habits or behaviors -Experiencing guilt or anxiety when doing something for yourself -A sense of self-worth and self-esteem that depends on what others think of you -Taking on more work than you can handle to lighten someone else’s load These patterns often begin subtly. Many people do not recognize codependency until they feel resentment, chronic stress, or a loss of personal identity. 🗺Where Codependency Comes From Codependency is frequently rooted in early experiences where emotional stability depended on your behavior. Common origins include: • Growing up with a parent whose moods you had to manage • Environments where your needs were minimized or ignored • Learning that belonging required self sacrifice • Being praised for caretaking more than authenticity

Yesterday's conversation in this group: 30 Day Challenge ran by @Steve Webb prompted this topic for me.(Check it out if you haven't done so already--it's honestly one of my favorites: the challenges are meaningful and the vibes are solid!) ---- Every healthy relationship needs a sense of safety, respect, and good boundaries. When boundaries are unclear or when we don't have a strong sense of the things within us that still need tending to , outside influences can slip in and create distance, conflict, or resentment. Cloud and Townsend (in their books "boundaries" and "boundaries in marriage" ) call these outside influences “intruders.” Intruders are not always people with bad intentions. They can be anyone or anything that disrupts connection or takes priority over the relationship. They can also be internal states that influence choices (e.g. the need to be needed; the need to be desired; the need to be successful/fear of failure; fear of not being good enough). These needs or beliefs can influence behaviors in a way that it could be very easy to allow intruders in without even noticiing... *Side note, while this post can be applied to romantic relationships, it can also be applied to other relationships as well! Consider the relationships that you say are important to you. :) 💥 Common “Intruders” -Family members who disregard the couple’s space or privacy -Friends who pull one partner into emotional loyalty conflicts -Work or technology that consumes all available time and energy -Past relationships or unresolved trauma that continue to shape reactions -Addictions or unhealthy coping patterns that block emotional availability Intruders show up in subtle ways too, like overcommitment, people-pleasing, or neglecting time for one another. They can also be related to underlying needs or beliefs about oneself (e.g. the need to be needed or admired; not feeling good enough; fear of failure)--these can contribute to actions that one takes--extending extra time to others/activities, looking for admiration, overworking, etc)

As many of you know, joining Skool for me was more about having a creative outlet, and also a place to collect and organize material that I can maybe use in the outside world... One of the coolest and truly unexpected blessings has been the development of this community and the relationships that have been forged along the way! So truly thankful for that! Thank you all for that. Well, guess what?? Yesterday, I had the honor of meeting one of our own!! @Dr. Melissa Partaka and I got to spend a few hours together, talking, connecting, and truly enjoying each other's company! To see and be seen is one of the greatest gifts, and yesterday's space provided that in such a meaningful way. It's one thing to read words on a screen and to envision a person, it's such a more real and connecting experience to actually experience someone in real life. The authenticity that you see in her writing/her posts is embodied in real life and that is really cool! So thankful for having met her and looking forward to more experiences! I've been in a state of wonder lately, being more on the lookout for good things than usual. Not as a denial of hardship but as a balance and truth. As a way to care for the nervous system and increase cognitive flexibility. As a way to hold space for what's present. Connections are so important and I've been leaning in to that this year more than ever. When we notice the good, when we connect, we strengthen neural pathways linked to calm, connection, and resilience. All good things... What is one positive moment or small (or big)blessing you noticed recently? Do you try to stay on the lookout for good things?