💕Reciprocity in Relationships · Inspired Life, Empowered Being

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💕Reciprocity in Relationships

We often hear that healthy relationships require reciprocity and some of us think that it has to be some kind of a 1:1 ratio. Buuut, reciprocity isn’t about keeping score or making sure everything is perfectly equal. Although the words sounds transactional, it's not a formulaic transaction. It's is more about mutual investment that hopefully comes from a place of love. It’s the feeling that care, effort, attention, and emotional presence move in both directions over time. It's one of the ways that love can be put in action. ( But, there will be times when someone can do us no good and love can still be present, even if reciprocity is not. :)--that's a topic for a different day)

It can mean that both people initiate sometimes, or maybe one is better about initiating/planning, but the other one is always down to do things and is better about execution part. It can mean that support flows both ways during hard moments and that one person isn’t "always: the emotional container.

**Effort feels appreciated and naturally returned**

When reciprocity is missing, people often describe feeling drained, taken for granted, uncertain where they stand, or like they're the ones carrying the relationship "If it wasn't for me, I don't think they'd ever reach out" (I hear this one a lot). Friendly reminder on this--this is typically a cue to check in with yourself and see what's being activated for you that YOU are overfunctioning, that you are allowing for this pattern to be part of your story, that you may be struggling with boundaries, etc. Because...Ultimately, you're reponsible for yourself and what you do.

Healthy reciprocity tends to feel calm, steady, and secure. It doesn't feel forced, or negotiated constantlyj. It just ends up being kind of naturally balanced over time.

(Again, there are certain things/relationships in life where we'd have to adjust our definition of reciprocity depending on the type of relationship, but it's still a point worth reflecting on in terms of having satisfying relationships).

QUESTION: When you think of your relationships, does the effort feel mutual? Do you feel safe being both the giver and the receiver? (sometimes people struggle in these roles)

POLL: Which statement resonates most with you right now?

Video: The first is about offering compassion; The second is about prioritizing oneself;

I feel strong reciprocity in most of my relationships

Some relationships feel balanced, others don’t

I often feel like I give more than I receive

I often feel like I receive more than I give

I’m currently re-evaluating what healthy reciprocity even means

15 votes

23 comments