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6d (edited) • $/Generativity(life's calling)
"Year of Yes"-A 12 Month Break-Up with Avoidance and All It's Toxic Friends (An Experiment in Values Based Defiance )
A little personal background (not necessary to read to get the content below):
Back in 2017 I had decided that 2018 was going to be a "Year of Yes" (title inspired by Shonda Rhymes--creator of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal). Out of necessity rather than desire, I've had to make some bold and uncomfortable moves in 2017 and I told myself that 2018 had to be different.. It HAD to for my own sanity..I didn't want to be a spectator in my own life and wanted to be an active agent... So...that year consisted of saying yes to all sorts of things--yes to doing deep work (thank you Bible/God, thank you Brene Brown, thank you other books and friends), yes to things that scared me (e.g. speaking at a seminar, doing a radio show, running a self esteem workshop, doing activities solo, saying 'no' to things that didn't fit what I actually needed), saying yes to different connections ( -I appreciate you more than you'll ever know!!!) . I stumbled A LOT and fell often, but I also became more confident, more independent, more conscientious of boundaries, more of myself. As a result of 2018, 2019 became my 'resurrection' year or my 'phoenix' year. Rising from the ashes. (Funny that it coincided with my 33rd year in life-maybe that's why I called it the resurrection year).
So....as I'm reflecting on this past year and coming up into the next, I figured it's time...It's time for another "Year of Yes". I think it's been brewing.
______________BEGIN THE REAL POST________________________________
*Please watch the video if you have th time. :) :)
People hear the phrase a "Year of Yes" and automatically think that it means impulsive decisions, saying yes to a bunch of new activities, being busy with all sorts of things, "bucket list"...But the reality is that it's more like..exposure therapy for the soul. It's breaking up with things that hold you back from living an aligned life. It's saying no to things like unhelpful fear, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, self-doubt and the "maybe later" type language.
Psychologically, a Year of Yes is about shifting your behavior from automatic avoidance to intentional approach. You are choosing actions that align with your values rather than your anxieties and it's a practice in bravery and courage.
Here is what saying YES means:
- Saying yes to discomfort when it serves growth
- Saying yes to opportunities your nervous system would normally swipe left on or ghost (I feel hip saying this since I'm not in the dating scene)
- Saying yes to behavioral activation instead of waiting for motivation
- Saying yes to rest, boundaries, and self-respect
- Saying yes to the version of yourself you’ve been rehearsing internally for years but too afraid of putting out because of fear of disappointing others, because of fear of failure, because of fear of success (yes! because of fear of success because with success comes more responsibility); We need to stop outsourcing our decisions to misguided guilt, fear, someone else's expectations...
- Saying yes to choices that move your life toward your values instead of away from perceived threat
- Similar to above, saying yes to to the life you already know you want and need but keep negotiating with...
(Do you wrestle with dreams? Do you contend with shadows? Do you move in a kind of sleep?Time has slipped away.Your life is stolen. You tarried with trifles,Victim of your folly.”―Frank Herbert, DUNE. I don't want to be a victim of my own folly).
Here is what it does NOT mean:
- You do not say yes to chaos for entertainment value
- You do not say yes to people who drain you just to “be nice”--if you're going to do it, find another underlying value that will serve the purpose of this yes
- You do not say yes to everything and call it growth (discernment and intentionality are real things to consider!)
- You do not say yes when the real yes is actually a no to someone else (respecting boundaries is important!)
- You do not use “yes” to bypass your intuition, your limits, or your responsibilities (Yes to saying no when the no is actually your yes to yourself)
The Year of Yes is not about living for the 'highlight reel' , but for your actual life. It is choosing expansion (over avoidance) on purpose.A Year of Yes doesn’t make your life bigger because you force yourself into performative busyness. It makes your life bigger because you stop shrinking it.:)
The next 12 months will be uncomfortable, and the comfort zone will not really enjoy it as it expands (though one can love to love a challenge!)..but whether or not it will be enjoyable, your future self will thank you.
So if you’re starting one, don’t think “bucket list. Think--> identity shift.Think “What would life look like if I stopped negotiating with my fears for 12 straight months?”
That’s the Year of Yes.
***Please watch the video if you have the time. :) ***
If you were to have a Year of Yes, what would you say yes to first?
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"Year of Yes"-A 12 Month Break-Up with Avoidance and All It's Toxic Friends (An Experiment in Values Based Defiance )
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