🌿The Benefits of Wonder and Awe for Your Well Being Last night it was snowing and before getting into my car to drive home, I just looked up. The light was hitting the snow just perfectly and it felt like I was in a sparkling snowglobe...and there was this small moment of joy and warmth. The cold didn't hit in the same way, it felt more energizing than deathly feeling. One look up and the moment shifted from my inner dialogue saying "ugh...i hate the cold so much to "wow, it sure is beautiful out here. How cool that I get to experience this". A moment of awe and noticing the beauty in something shifted the inner experience. Awe and wonder-the moments that make your brain go "Wow" and your nervous system soften. It brings on a sense of joy and gratitude. Psychologically, wonder and awe acts like a reset button. Studies show that a sense of awe can and do reduce stress markers, lower inflammation and support healthier cell functioning. When you experience awe your body releases chemicals that calm the threat system and activate the part of the nervous system that restores and repairs. Wonder has a sense of curiosity attached to it and awe also expands your sense of time and increases feelings of meaning which boosts overall emotional well-being. Awe also shifts your perspective. It shrinks the inner critic and enlarges the sense of connection with a bigger world. So how do we engage with it more often? You do not need a mountaintop (though, if you have one, go!). You need intentional attention. Here are some strategies: ✨ Seek micro wonder. Tiny pieces of beauty count. The pattern on a leaf. A song that hits your chest. A cloud in the sky :) A snowflake up close. The up-close look in someone's eyes (make sure they're okay with it! ha) ✨ Slow your pace. The nervous system needs a little margin to take in what is around you. Take a few grounding breaths and look around. One of my favorite books has the phrase "look up" in it--pointing to the idea of looking outside of selves.

A little personal background (not necessary to read to get the content below): Back in 2017 I had decided that 2018 was going to be a "Year of Yes" (title inspired by Shonda Rhymes--creator of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal). Out of necessity rather than desire, I've had to make some bold and uncomfortable moves in 2017 and I told myself that 2018 had to be different.. It HAD to for my own sanity..I didn't want to be a spectator in my own life and wanted to be an active agent... So...that year consisted of saying yes to all sorts of things--yes to doing deep work (thank you Bible/God, thank you Brene Brown, thank you other books and friends), yes to things that scared me (e.g. speaking at a seminar, doing a radio show, running a self esteem workshop, doing activities solo, saying 'no' to things that didn't fit what I actually needed), saying yes to different connections ( @LaTanya Carter -I appreciate you more than you'll ever know!!!) . I stumbled A LOT and fell often, but I also became more confident, more independent, more conscientious of boundaries, more of myself. As a result of 2018, 2019 became my 'resurrection' year or my 'phoenix' year. Rising from the ashes. (Funny that it coincided with my 33rd year in life-maybe that's why I called it the resurrection year). So....as I'm reflecting on this past year and coming up into the next, I figured it's time...It's time for another "Year of Yes". I think it's been brewing. ______________BEGIN THE REAL POST________________________________ *Please watch the video if you have th time. :) :) People hear the phrase a "Year of Yes" and automatically think that it means impulsive decisions, saying yes to a bunch of new activities, being busy with all sorts of things, "bucket list"...But the reality is that it's more like..exposure therapy for the soul. It's breaking up with things that hold you back from living an aligned life. It's saying no to things like unhelpful fear, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, self-doubt and the "maybe later" type language.

💗There are so many great challenges out there and I didn't want to add another one to the list...BUT, in the spirit of this month of thanksgiving, I did want to gift someone something at the end of the month...I want to show appreciation to ALL of you, but given practical considerations, I just don't know if a gift is possible for all. So, I was trying to think about what would be a good way to try to go about this.... 🌟Well, how about this? In the spirit of this group and what it's about, WHAT IF we use your own goals and habits that you want to build upon as the deciding factor for winning? Not only will you get something from me but you'll be gaining momentum towards your goals and that IS winning beyond an external reward. We can use this as a way to add additional incentive to keep going and to make strides towards your goals!! And also as a place of accountability:) If there are A LOT of winners, maybe a secondary way of teasing out top winners can be something related to participation /level of activity or maybe just a random choosing. I already appreciate the activity in here and while I want to incentivise more people to participate I don't want the gift to just be dependent on that---I truly want you all to do well towards your goals!! 📈So....what say you? If you're interested, drop a comment below saying that you're in AND also identifying what you'll be working on for the rest of the month---what are the habits that you want to start/grow/continue? What will have to happen at the end of the month to say "I've made acceptable progress" towards this goal? (some areas of potential focus: physical health: diet, exercise, drinking water; spiritual health: daily prayer, gratitude practice; financial health: saving money, spending less; etc.) Let's do this!! Let's have a place to keep each other accountable, encourage each other and just take strides towards growth!! We got this, fam! :) :) :)

Codependency is a topic that comes up a lot and I was so surprised that I hadn't made a post about it yet. Codependency is a relationship pattern where one person becomes overly responsible for another person's emotions, needs, or decisions. It can feel like deep caring, loyalty, or devotion, but below the surface it often creates imbalance and emotional strain. Often it's a relationship dynamic where one person becomes the "giver" sacrificing their own needs/wellbeing for the sake of the other "the taker". 🚩Common Signs of Codependency -Feeling responsible for other people's feelings -Difficulty saying no even when you want to; doing things you don't want to to make the other person happy -Anxiety when someone is upset with you -Seeking validation through being helpful or indispensable; excessive need to get approval -Prioritizing others consistently at the expense of yourself; ignoring/minimizing your own feelings; tendency to neglect your own desires and needs -Feeling guilty when taking time for your needs -Staying in relationships that leave you depleted -A tendency to apologize or take the blame to keep the peace and avoid conflict -Changing your mood to reflect how others feel or behave -Excessive concern about that person’s habits or behaviors -Experiencing guilt or anxiety when doing something for yourself -A sense of self-worth and self-esteem that depends on what others think of you -Taking on more work than you can handle to lighten someone else’s load These patterns often begin subtly. Many people do not recognize codependency until they feel resentment, chronic stress, or a loss of personal identity. 🗺Where Codependency Comes From Codependency is frequently rooted in early experiences where emotional stability depended on your behavior. Common origins include: • Growing up with a parent whose moods you had to manage • Environments where your needs were minimized or ignored • Learning that belonging required self sacrifice • Being praised for caretaking more than authenticity

This past Friday I had set myself up to join a small group ( @Wesley Penner Executive Skill Journey) where I could practice some public speaking. All week, while I was truly busy, I was also actively avoiding preparing for it. The little girl within me, with her own not so great experiences growing up in relation to this, was showing up and trying to protect me. Through avoidance. Something she often did when she was little--be it frequently skipping school in third grade, running away when she was 10 or keeping quiet in situations when it would have been better to speak up. Since then, I've taken on challenges where I tried to overcome this, but if enough time passes, it can be easy to go back to old patterns in some instances (definitely not all)....So...I was avoiding it, until I couldn't any longer. So, what did I do? I decided to ebrace it and speak on avoidance....ironic maybe. But here are some points about avoidance!! :) It's kinda long, but i hope you benefit! Avoidance shows up in everyone’s life- urging us to delay, distract, or pull away from something uncomfortable. It can be physical (not showing up), emotional (numbing out), or cognitive (distraction). It gives immediate relief which further reinforces the avoidance cycle. Why do People Avoid: 1. Emotional protection and safety from real or perceived threat: Avoidance can in fact keep us safe from real danger (best not go pet a lion in the wild...bummer) But, most of our threats are social nowadays (Think rejection, failure, embarrassment). It tries to shield us from fear, shame, and sadness. It kind of gives an emotional off-switch, and while it gives a quick relief, it does weaken resilience. It promises comfort but at the expense of longer term strength. 2. Conditioning & Reinforcement: Avoidance feels good right away -the brain releases dopamine for that relief and then learns “Avoidance = safety,” creating a habit loop: discomfort → escape → relief → stronger avoidance. Look at us conditioning ourselves and not even knowing it!