Alright everyone I recognize I have not been active on here and delivering value of any sort. Why? Because I've been integrating. I've been in my own process for the last year (hint: I'm always in a process of evolving but there are certain processes that are initiated by certain life experiences/changes). And I wasn't integrated in a way that allowed me to fully show up in a committed fashion to this community space. So what I'm starting with is a post to talk about just that- Integration. A word that gets thrown around a LOT (especially in Psychedelic and Healing spaces) and I've yet to hear many detailed descriptions or definitions for that word. So I'm gonna start by offering mine: Integration - The coherent combination of pieces, parts & facets to create a cohesive functioning whole that serves a desired purpose or intention. Example- A car is an incredibly well integrated whole - made of thousands and thousands of parts and pieces that are seemlessly combined to serve the purpose of getting someone from point A to point B. So in the context I'm using it, I've been integrating - or making coherent sense of my life experiences, meanings, reflections, learnings and lessons as well as my inspirations (including my inspiration for making this Community Container) in a way that's cohesive and functions to serve a desired purpose or intention. My purpose and intention is First and foremost to care of myself and my needs and desires (physically, emotionally, materially, and spiritually) and then secondly to serve others. So while I've been taking care of the first part of that purpose, I wasn't able to show up and fulfill the second half of that purpose- serving others. So here I am to do exactly that. Let me know if this definition resonates with you and if you have your own meaning or definition for the word INTEGRATION. By offering it up, we can integrate various meanings and definitions and combine them in a coherent fashion to serve our own unique desires and intentions.

In sequence of my post last week around chaos and entropy, here's a maturation process that I'm in right now around the power of NO. As much as our inner child may not want to hear "No", whether it comes to an indulgent distraction, or a soothing external influence/substance. Much of our Personal Creationary Power comes in the form of a Loving 'No'. Saying No to distractions, vices and crutches. Saying No to the lies we tell ourselves and choose to believe. Saying No to people, activities and pursuits that aren't in alignment with our values and priorities. Saying No to invitations, opportunities and experiences that don't support our growth. Saying No is just as crucial as saying yes. And by process of elimination, the more things we say no to, leaves a short list of things worth saying yes to. No is a boundary. No is a 'that's not for me'. The more people and places we put a boundary up around with No, the more energy, focus and concentration is able to be potentiated toward the areas and arenas where we say YES to. Where in your life are you ignoring the whisper saying 'no'? Where in your life are you saying yes to something that you know is a no? For what purpose are you saying yes? Is it to please someone? Is it to distract yourself? Is it to sabotage your efforts? Is it to soothe yourself? Ask yourself these questions and listen for the answers. And as always would love to hear what your all's experience is and relationship is to 'NO'.

Well I went dark there for a while and because I didn't intend to I apologize for my absence. I'm back from my own internal explorations and have LOTS to share. Here's one of the big core themes: Chaos and Entropy. TLDR; -How disorderly and chaotic is your internal state of being: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually? -How disorderly and choatic is your external world: your physical living space, the sequence of events in your Life, your relationships etc? -How would your level of ease shift if you brought more order to yourself and your life? -The shortcut: stillness and attention to your breath. In Depth Exploration; These are two topics that I'm getting really interested in as I deepen my meditation practice and desire and commitment for more stillness in my Life. It feels like the more entropy or chaos or 'dis-order' I have the greater dis-ease and distraction I have from my desires and my purpose (which are slowly becoming one and the same). Have you ever noticed that elevated, high frequency-energetic states like focus, Love and joy have a certain level of singular focus? Where your mind and being is more present, more focused on a singular subject. Compare this however to lower frequency states like fear, shame and guilt and there is a much more scatteredness or disorderliness to our attention/focus, even rumination. Thoguhts of the past (typically association with depression) and thoughts of the future (typical of anxiety). In these states, the disorderliness and chaos of our internal state of being including repressed emotions, self criticism and shame, unsafety and fear- can actualy create different physical outputs or expressions. In anxiety the disorderliness leads to high physical output (pacing, visual scanning, fidgeting, unattentive) while in depression it leads to low phyical output (tiredness, low motivation and mood, physically sedentary). To contrast, in 'flow states' or states of great peace or presence there is a more laser like sense to them. What is that?

While the New Year is upon us, and people have taken off the starting line in pursuit of their goals, resolutions and habits, already a few days in some are already feeling depleted and discouraged. One of the things I've been contemplating a lot recently though has been humanity's disconnection from story and myth. After all, ever since before Neanderthals could talk, we were drawing symbols on cave walls depicting a series or sequence of events that included a plot, a character and a progression. This is the heart and foundation of a story. The Bible and other religious texts are a compilation of stories. The question becomes: what story are YOU writing? What's the story you're telling yourself? What's the story you're creating? Is it one that you'd want to tell around a campfire? Is your story one of perfection and wholeness or one of shame and discontent? Is it a story of courage, growth and expansion? Or a story of doubt, self-neglect and contraction? Is it a story of fulfillment and nourishment? Or a story where of compliance and sacrificial enslavement? If you were to look at your Life as a whole, and you connected with the Story that your Soul has laid out for you to Live, what chapter are you in right now? Are you in the chapter of rest and recuperation where you reorient and realign with your purpose? Are you in the chapter where you've gathered your tools, packed your pack and are ready to head out on your next excursion? Are you in the chapter where you're coming back home to yourself? Are you in the chapter where you're to go out in search of meaningful relationships and pursuits to support and fortify? What chapter are you in? Are you embracing it? Are you torn between the last chapter and the next one? What would it take for you to close the last chapter and jump into the next one with earnest enthusiasm, excitement and vigor. It's a new chapter. Though it may follow the last chapter, it is nonetheless a new one-ripe with the opportunity for the story to take a change of direction, a turn of events, a resolution, a healing and an expansion.