Vibrational set point homework

1) Current self- My second chance at life began over 6 years ago and at times it’s been more of a struggle than I ever anticipated. I’ve hit some incredibly low points where I’d have rated myself a 1 on the vibe scale. I’ll currently rate myself a 5 or 6, which is a significant improvement as to where I was, not too long ago, though. Ive been battling, lately, a growing dread, that perhaps I’ve plateaued. I’ve evolved a tremendous amount from the person who took a life all those years ago, and while I feel I’ve consciously managed to forgive myself, for even my most profound of guilts, it seems my subconscious is proving a much tougher sell. It’s obvious I’m still holding onto some self destructive tendencies and patterns. I quit my job a couple of months ago with the intent I would do some traveling, focus on my writing, and a couple creative ideas that I have. Well, every week I manage to gamble or frivolously blow my money to the point I have to postpone my travels. It’s a chore to get myself to sit down and write and when I do nothing of any substance comes out. In terms of people and love I have no question about my hearts capacity to both give and receive love but since being out I’ve managed to inadvertently hurt three different women. Two exes and a best friend with whom I flirted my way into her catching feelings and inevitably broke her sweet heart as well. I’m currently terrified to open myself up to make genuine, meaningful connections, because despite the positive personal path that I find myself on, all I’ve ever done is hurt the people closest to me.

2) Ideal self- My ideal self would be someone whose goodness of heart is no longer betrayed by the broken of my mind. I have a goodness of heart and strength to my spirit of which I can be proud of and my ideal self believes if I can heal myself I could help to heal others. I could make a positive impact on people which is essentially all I really want, or care about. I’ve caused a lot of hurt and pain over the course of my life. My ideal self will find a way to flip that shit. Transmute the guilt and self loathing into a positive, healthy energy that will go beyond just a desire to be good, and do good, and be happy and instead turn into something actionable, to where I actually make a positive difference in the lives of people both in my life, and perhaps even beyond.

3) Changes & Actions- I could certainly write and work out more regularly. Writing, in particular, has historically been my number one form of therapy. It offered a type of escape during some dark times when I had no other means. I would certainly benefit from a retirement from gambling. Drinking and drugs aren’t currently major issues in my life but a complete eradication certainly wouldn’t be harmful. I have been meditating regularly. I need to continue with that. Joining a community like this was something out of my comfort zone but has proved to be a positive. I will complete this program I started. This would come as a complete and utter shock to any of my ex teachers but I’ll complete all homework assignments as well 😂. I will continue to work on myself. For the first time in my life I feel I’m on the right path. It feels sometimes as if I’m being divinely guided. Like there are energies that I don’t fully understand that have my back and want me to succeed. I’m going to try to honor that and continue to grow and evolve as a person. Homework assignment #2 has officially been completed. F off Mr Cunis 😂

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