# HW DAY 1 Mindset Shift · High Vibe Tribe

# HW DAY 1 Mindset Shift

Hi all,

I wanted to share the insights that came through for me during today’s live session and the Identity Shift worksheet.

There was a real synchronicity in what came up today. The session touched on the same themes that had already been moving through me: the patterns I created to protect myself, the need to be good, and the deep pain of feeling invisible.

During the meditation, the screen on the left was completely blank. I could not see anything. Then the truth of it landed in me: I could not see myself. I was invisible to me.

The worksheet was so accurate that it moved me to tears. It felt as though, in that moment, something in me had finally been seen, felt, and heard. I could clearly see the thread running through it all: the waiting game, the “when/then” belief, and the protective roles of the people-pleaser and fixer.

I am sharing these memories because they helped me understand where that pattern began.

The first memory was from when I ran away from home at eleven and stayed away for a week. Looking back, I can see it was not simply rebellion. It was a child wanting to be seen, heard, valued, and missed. I wanted my mother to notice how much I helped her. I wanted my absence to matter.

I remember waiting for a knock on the door, hoping it would be the police looking for me because my mother had reported me missing. That knock never came. When I eventually went home, my mother said nothing. She ignored me. My absence was not spoken about, and my pain was not acknowledged. I went to my bedroom feeling defeated, helpless, and deeply sad. The next day, I cleaned the house as usual, because that was what I knew how to survive. I felt powerless.

The next memory was from when I was thirteen. I was in a shop and suddenly stopped dead in my tracks because I saw a man with a beard and thought, Oh my God, that is my father. I did not know my father. He was absent from my life, and the only thing I knew about him was that he had a beard.

I stood there with such a strong longing to know him. In my mind, he had become the person who might one day rescue me. I wanted to ask his name, but then I saw he was with his wife and I thought, What if she does not know he has a daughter? What if I cause pain? Even then, I put other people’s feelings before my own need to know the truth. I did not want to upset anyone. I did not feel important enough to ask. I was invisible.

Then, as I reflected again today, I remembered what felt like the moment that identity was created: the little girl who did not want to be seen because she believed she was bad.

I was five years old, asleep in my bed, when I was woken by the babysitter. A man had got into bed with me and taken hold of my hand. I somehow knew that what was happening was wrong. It felt bad. Then I heard the loving voice of my guardian angel say, Get out of bed and get into bed with your brother. I followed that guidance straight away. I climbed out of bed, got into bed with my brother, and went back to sleep.

The next morning, my mother asked me if anything had happened the night before. I had forgotten until she asked. Then I remembered the babysitter, and I felt bad. Because I felt bad, my young mind made the meaning that I must be bad. I looked into my mother’s eyes and thought, She knows. She knows I am a bad person.

In that moment, I decided I would prove I was good. I would do everything I could to make her see that I was good, and to convince myself too. That was when I began to become invisible to myself. The people-pleaser was born because I did not want to be seen as bad. So I said, “No, nothing happened.”

For many years, I forgot the presence of my guardian angel. I forgot that love and protection had been there too. Today, that feels important. Before the belief that I was bad, there was guidance. Before the pain became the story, there was love.

I have learned to love myself more fully and to honour the protective roles I developed in order to feel safe in my environment. I now understand why they were there. I can also choose differently now. I feel safer in my own body, and I feel called to help others come to know and understand themselves with compassion and understanding.

I see myself now. I listen to myself now. I do not need to wait for someone else to prove that I matter. I can give myself the care, appreciation, value, worth, and peace I once waited for from others.

I am no longer waiting for the knock on the door. I am no longer waiting to be rescued by a love I imagined might come from outside of me. I am here. I have arrived. I am reclaiming my loving heart, my soul connection, and the sacred truth that I was never invisible to love.

Sadly I don't have a photo of my child, which tells it's own story.

I also know that you are never truly invisible to love.

May this reflection be an invitation for you, too: to place a hand upon your loving heart and remember the quiet truth within you. My truth is worthy of light. My voice is worthy of being heard. My feelings are sacred messengers. I honour the wisdom of my heart, I trust the love that lives within me, and I allow myself to be seen by the truth of who I am.

With loves blessings to all 💞

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# HW DAY 1 Mindset Shift