🐴 When We Don’t Ask for Help... · Get Good With Horses Courses

Zoë Coade

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5d (edited) • 👀 Observations from the Field

🐴 When We Don’t Ask for Help...

✨ I want to share something that’s been sitting heavily with me the past weeks.

Recently, I found out that a mare I knew of was put to sleep due to behavioural issues.

From what I observed, she had all the right physical checks -chiro, physio, ulcers, bloods the lot.

But what I saw daily was a horse showing very clear signs of distress during handling.

During tacking up she would bite, strike, kick. It escalated to the point she couldn’t even be tied safely. Bridling would start in one place in the barn and end 20 metres away.

There was no punishment - which is good but there was also no guidance.

No change in approach. No outside help.

Same pattern in - same pattern out.

And eventually…the behaviour became the label.

👉 Here’s the hard truth:

Even with experience. Even with knowledge. Even with good intentions.

If we don’t ask for help, nothing changes.

Years ago I would run after people, offering help whether they wanted it or not. I learned the hard way that if someone isn’t open, they aren’t open. You can’t force readiness.

Do I wish I had stepped in more? Of course part of me does.

But I cannot take responsibility for every situation I witness. That would mean carrying the weight of every horse everywhere - and that’s neither realistic nor healthy.

What I do believe, deeply, is this:

If the horse is physically well and the owner is open, most things are fixable.

Horses with “people problems” were created by people - often unknowingly. That means they can be un-created too.

Some in a few sessions. Some in a year. Some longer.

But behaviour is information.

I’ve known horses who survived trailering accidents and calmly loaded the next day because the owner didn’t label them as trauma victims.

I’ve also seen horses who had no accident, but after one frightening moment were labelled “traumatised” where from that day forward, they carried that identity.

We are powerful in what we reinforce.

We are powerful in what we ignore.

We are powerful in what we assume.

This post isn’t about blame, it’s about openness.

If something feels hard, escalating, or repetitive with your horse, please ask for help.

Not because you’ve failed, but because you care and remain open.

Sometimes all it takes is a small change in timing to completely change the story.

This story hurts.🥺

But it also strengthens my commitment to helping humans understand their beautiful horses better.

If you’ve ever hesitated to ask for help, I’d love to hear what held you back.

Let’s talk about it.

With love,