Curious · Beautiful Mind

Curious

I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with being a part of a “system”. I’m back in the states for the summer and all of a sudden it’s like a wave of pressure has washed over me and the cultural “do and donts” are weighing heavy. Like renewing my license and making sure I have good health insurance and updating tax forms - I know that part of me feels the need the be a part of this system to potentially help me down the line but a bigger part of me doesn’t see the point or value (especially by the amount of stress and frustration it can cause) and I’m having a hard time actually facing these things and figuring them out. My family is a huge pressure when it comes to me growing up and being an “adult”. But our perspectives on life are so different - I feel like I’ve lost respect from my family unit for the way I’ve chosen to live so I’m trying to make them happy by “getting my ducks in a row”. And also, it’s really hard for me to see the point and value, especially having lived so far removed from this US system for so long.

I guess I’m just expressing to be seen and heard and if anyone has words of support or understanding.

It’s like how to I find the energy to become part of a system I don’t actually respect but because it’s so ingrained in culture it’s almost a must if I want to feel supported and move forward.

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