You · Foundations of Ascension

Oct 27 • Wins

You

This month I went offline as much as possible to reconnect with myself. I found myself hearing harsh self criticism, blaming, fear, verbal abuse. Last night a big part arose and gave me a realization I’m disconnected from meaning and purpose but most importantly I’m not good with emotional support or even receiving it in a healthy way. The city isn’t a pretty place and many are too busy or are just not people I should be going to. I’ve been having a hard time just expressing what I feel but today it’s clear I feel hopeless, a failure, scared and a sense of giving up. But then I ask what then was the struggle for? What then was the tears you shed almost every day? To be honest as I grew up I wanted to change the world and show people they had potential within themselves if they stopped and looked but I didn’t realize I also needed to do the same. Boundaries and speaking up for yourself plus sensitivity and vulnerability are my biggest struggles. Oh and of course regulating my emotions. Sounds like narcissism and you’re possibly right. But at least I’m being honest and trying to let go of the mask. I don’t know why I wrote this but one thing I do know I’m working on it. Oh I do ask too no validation on this I’m trying to let go of needing external validation.

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