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19d • Tools and Strategies
Subtract Control. Add Choice.
Power struggles often come from how we approach the moment, not the moment itself.
Try replacing directives with options:
Timing 🕒
• “Do you want to talk now or later?”
Place 🚗
• “In the car or on a walk?”
Environment 🎧
• “Music on or off?”
Depth 🗣️
• “Quick check-in or full conversation?”
Support 🧠
• “Do you want advice or just to vent?”
Follow-up 📱
• “Want me to check back tonight or tomorrow?”
Why this works:
Choice gives ownership.
Ownership lowers resistance.
We don’t lose authority by offering choice.
We gain connection.
- Which choice do you already offer without realizing it?
- What’s the reason you struggle giving up some control?
- Where do power struggles show up most with your teenager?
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Subtract Control. Add Choice.
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