I didn't see one listed anywhere so I'm making one as I'm doing the coursework! My Top 3 Dating Goals are as follows: 1. Healing from pasting dating experiences (a must!) 2. Meeting more women organically 3. Building confidence and self-trust

I was writing out a reflection of a time I got rejected and I recalled a time way before back in my 20s. It was such a silly but brave thing I did to bring someone i barely know flowers and a card on Valentine's and shoot my shot. I recall my feelings then and they feel so distant now to how I feel. I was definitely in my mid 20s for sure. I've gained a lot of life experience since then and wrote in my final lines that any rejection I experience is just a glancing blow against my psyche armor. It isn't world shattering anymore. I'm proud of myself to write that.

Well, here is where I start my not so quiet reflection period I guess Fear: When has fear stopped me from taking action? I'd say most of this year. After what I endured and my relationship of 3 months back in 2024, I was afraid to date again. I know that honestly. It was protecting me from absolutely making the same mistakes and patterns again, and feeling like I was finally ready to put myself back out there again and date. Control: Where do I try too hard to get it right? I'd say right out of the gate: My dating profile. I try to curate what I show and don't show because I know certain aspects of myself are complicated and I don't want to reveal too much too soon. If I just put it all out there? I think it would honestly alienate too many prospectives from being interested because I've tried a variation of it, and it didn't work out so well. I'm trying to find a way to honestly find a balanced response. The Nice Guy Trap: That previous sentence is a good segue into this. When do I hide parts of myself to be liked? Always! I hide certain aspects because I am not sure how someone will take it. It makes me a lot more reserved and less like myself when I'm around women. “Where have I been playing safe in dating?” Actually I was doing speed dating in only one space for a while because I kept feeling like lightning was going to strike twice. It never struck again. And I knew I should have diversified, and tried some apps but I was afraid to take risks with unknown dating apps, so I stuck to Bumble, even though it was slightly dissatisfying, and Facebook dating, which will more improvements, still was a tossup.

Let's see here. I meant to post this recently but will now! In August, I went out to a local Pub (Older folk locals 45 - 65) age group. Some of a Social Group I am apart of was here, and I introduced myself to a girl and her Mum at a Table. I'll name the girl a different name to protect her. Let's call her Jenny. After a few weekends of going out, Jenny and I got closer and ended up talking a lot on Whatsapp. Jenny is very into Emolike stuff, horror, and Halloween all year round. She doesn't respect her body too much in the way I would I.E Diet and Exercise. As you know fitness is my identity. I get on really well with Jenny, we laugh, dance on the dance floor together, share personal moments with each other, hype each other etc. Quite a lot of stuff. She also cannot drive. As time went on we decided to have a date, she said she had feelings for me, and I wasn't her usual type of guy. I said sure let's do it. Date 1 - I said I'll come pick you up, and we'll go for a walk around the shopping mall's lake. She said that's great. So we did this, for a few hours talked a lot about stuff. But, a few major red flags came up for me. She constantly mentioned all her exes. Especially what they did, what they were like, how their dates used to go. Then she was asking me about mine. I didn't give much information at all as it's not relevant here. After time went on, I took her home, and she kissed me on the cheek. So Date went well. As some more time went on. I don't like to project the future too much myself. But, as she couldn't drive. I kept hinting or joking saying 'You should learn to drive you'll be good at it.' She kept diverting the question, or making excuses. She also lives at home with her Mum, and if she didn't her Mum wouldn't be able to make Rent or Bills. This is also a red flag for me. I love the family dynamic, but if the future ever came up of living together it wouldn't happen. After weeks went by, we both went silent. Didn't speak for like 2-3 weeks. Until October I messaged her saying thank you for hyping me up on my Status on Social Media about my breakthrough. Then, we went out to the Pub we met at again for dance etc to a good band, have a few drinks and stuff. I mentioned the first date location. I had tried to set up a second date prior, and she did agree but never followed through. She said 'We should have that second date and organised it on the spot.' I said sure again.

Just yesterday, Someone 😬 shared this moment with me and that’s when this person said “Yeah thanksgiving week is hectic” and my response was “Yes I hope things are going well for your business”. Now I like to think that I gave a support response there in a way and not a shift response. Because I’m not a self-centered or selfish person I genuinely care about people so of course I want them to know how supportive I am of them. But one thing I could have said instead to stay in their experience was this, “Oh really? What exactly about this week of thanksgiving is so hectic for you?” That way it shows more support in her experience and I’m not rushing to talk either. So if anything, I’m really glad I got to learn this lesson, because now I can truly give more support responses in a curious and supportive way and not try to shift the conversation my way at all!