Why Does It Feel Like Someone is Watching Me?

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Because, they are. We don’t give the kids in our lives enough credit for how closely they watch what we do and say and then model that behavior.

True story, my daughter’s dad was in the military- AirBorne Ranger/Air Assault, needless to say, he often forgot to watch his words around our daughter. Fast Forward to 1st grade. My daughter is in afterschool care and she’s attending Catholic school (this was before we started homeschooling)! Imagine my surprise when I walked in to pick her up and I’m greeted by another 1st grader saying, “There’s some girl in the bathroom and she’s saying bad words!” Well, turns out it was my child. That night we had a chat about appropriate words and to this day, we still use French Fries as one of them.

What does this have to do with modeling? Simple, she was modeling her dad’s language. Now, think about your online behaviors, are you modeling the behavior you’d like to see from your kids?

Here’s some ideas by age you can try:

Ages 3–5: Narrate your "Phone Finish." When you’re done checking a text, say it out loud: "Okay, I’m done with my phone now. I’m putting it in its 'parking lot' so I can play with you!" It helps them see the phone has a beginning and an end.

Ages 6–9: The "Phone Bedtime." Establish a family charging station in a common area (like the kitchen). When the sun goes down or after dinner, everyone’s "digital brains" go to sleep in the basket together.

10–11: The "I’m Struggling, Too" Talk. If you catch yourself mindlessly scrolling, own it! Say, "Man, I just got sucked into this app for 20 minutes and now my neck hurts. I’m going to go outside for a breath of air. Want to join me?"

Bonus (Ages 12–17): Digital Boundaries. Respect their "offline" time if you want them to respect yours. Try not to text them from the other room—walk in and talk to them. Lead the way in keeping the bedroom a "tech-free sanctuary" for better sleep.

What’s your favorite do what I say not what I do story?

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