Happy sabbath, gentlemen! Have you reflected on the way Christ offered himself for you on the cross? I mean the visceral sights, sounds, smell, experience of him being crucified? It was brutal beyond words. There is no way to conceptualize the harshness of His sacrifice. And yet, we are called to offer ourselves in this manner to Christ through our marriages. God created you go this day to offer yourself as He did. Let’s get after it. https://youtu.be/mljh5OvM1ww?si=cIQ4BVa5-tzWxtuT

Do one small thing today to let your wife know she’s on your mind when she’s not around. Are you tired of the same fights over and over again? Confucius says that life is so simple and yet we insist on making it difficult! The next time the same fight pops up - breathe - take a moment. Listen to her. Ask a probing question after she’s done sharing. Do not take the bait of feeling attacked. Provide the space that she needs to get those emotions and thoughts out. Let her lay it all out regarding the conflict. Then you share your thoughts and feelings. Is there a 3rd way to look at it in order to move forward from this obstacle of connection? Check out my YouTube thoughts on creating safety in this space. https://youtu.be/-fKaUZYcSvY?si=TT9HY9_koOSD3Er0

We all know the pattern. You’ll be tired or upset about anything and your wife will want to unload her emotions around a scenario. You’ll blow up or get cold both are harsh and bitter towards your wife. This cycle of conflict is never helpful for growth or connection. I have an approach that may change things. Take a moment and just listen. Don’t make a decision don’t come up with a solution just listen. Once you’re done listening to what she wants to say ask a question or dig deeper. Clarify your understanding. Col 3:19 says men love your wives and never be harsh with her. https://youtu.be/3XQYSoBAZgc?si=fuawoDDIbBnvrCX2

So she no longer reaches for you for comfort or connection. You both go about your day to day and you occasionally will remind her it’s been awhile since yall have been physically intimate. She knows. Your wife will do and make time for what she deems important. So now what? Look for a way to connect with her emotionally today. Find something to be grateful about, set aside sometime to ask her questions about her day, what’s been going on her mind. If this is new to you expect her to be disinterested or frustrated. Keep doing something small consistently. Let me know how I can encourage you. https://youtu.be/wtcA_7GXx44?si=plVmr0RIbqGUJhKq

Many of you take pride in your yard or garden. You’ll fertilize it and manicure it and watch it grow with a smile. If you’re into gardening same thing applies with the fruit and veggies you’re harvesting. How does this apply to your marriage and I’m not talking about date nights. I’m talking about daily emotional connection with your wife. How do you talk to her. How do you listen to her. How are you both growing for each other. Where is your relationship depleted in nutrients? Take an inventory and make a decision on one small way you can add some fertilizer to the soil of your marriage tonight. https://youtu.be/WDzyxlS0G68?si=cXEbT87g4FpAqYos