How much is enough? · Anchored & Ready

How much is enough?

I really enjoyed the group call today because we touched on some important aspects of what stress is and what it requires.

Stress and anxiety need attention or we risk losing opportunity to navigate it successfully. There's also a reality that we may lose opportunity to grow which Drew mentioned.

Matt reminds us clearly and repeatedly that awareness is needed. This awareness is a personal thing. When we show up for people and situations we have to have a formula (a toolkit) for how we navigate.

Showing up is the work that builds greatness and being available to the real work is what matters. Jeff, you sit in a room with us on Saturdays - fostering an environment of mutual openness. What's important here is the 7 that were on the call today. It's not 'it could be 25', but there's only 7. It's 7 that actually stopped their Saturday to be here. The score for your impact is 700. * 700 * wins this weekend. All 7 take 100% of today back to our family and friends, and even to work and we get to use it. That's the result of creating the environment. You want depth anyway, not width. This same reality of going deeper with people we interact with - this is for us all. On the call we are all 100% here and ready to engage and listen. At home we see moments like the call, but we see it in passing.

Troy - you mentioned the door being open. That's key in carrying the burden of showing up for others. We don't just stand in the doorway to invite people in. The sales approach happens impromptu when we are interacting. Selling people on an idea and the need to take action is the mission of helping people right where they are. This comes in the form of listening.

Tyson mentioned that stress builds and compounds if we let it. This is true. Having awareness can allow us to develop a pattern of working through it.

Each of us here have shared our experiences of great things and terrible situations or journeys. We already have those benchmarks of highs and lows even if the benchmark in your mind wasn't your experience, you learned it from seeing it. I believe fully that a reason that we get knocked down and stay down for too long is because we fail to build and keep a tool kit. There's no protocol or tool kit that solves losing someone to suicide. However knowing what is being impacted, knowing how people are affected, knowing where we can insert ourselves to be available and have an impact and help... that's the toolkit we carry to help men grow.

For the person that is the subject of the issue/stress .... the person that is struggling - they need a toolkit too. Having a toolkit is:

having an awareness about what is happening to us at this time,

understanding past situations in which we overcame an issue,

recognizing patterns in ourselves that could make things worse,

knowing who we have that we can talk to,

knowing that it's important to reach out,

and then having a willingness to follow encouragement when it's given.

If we are following encouragement it could even mean that we are placing our trust in the advice and refusing to follow our own way of thinking - subjecting ourself to the mentor because we understand that we are not in a position to make the right decision on how to get out or through.

Mentoring and friendship isn't so much about telling, it's guiding and letting the struggling person push through with direction and a sense of focus so that they can be the hero of their own story.

So how much is enough? Well - you must decide for yourself. You know you better than anyone does.

The stresses I think come from 2 buckets:

1 Are you creating the internal stress?

2 Are you taking care of you first so you can work with the stress coming from outside?

Baseline foundational work in men builds over time and even when we've built something very good we may still go on adding to and building the foundations. It's maintenance for everyone. This work that we are here to help men do is continual and not at all a status.

Jared thank you for the challenge of meeting people without my title. I think I do this ok but will do it now more intentionally.

3 comments