I find myself incredibly sexually attracted to men and completely repulsed by the vagina. Conversely I find myself drawn to strong women and repulsed by men when it comes to other qualities that have to do with the ego or personality. I am very sexually confused...it's eluded me all my life. I've been taking the tantric path to try and pinpoint when and at what point I get aroused. What should I do so that my desires don't overtake me...or take me down a dark road?

How come we accept all forms of shadows and darkness (like in the yin and yang symbol, devil, etc), but then we all try to polus on the positive at all times? What are your believes and thoughts on positive thinking, positive feelings and what have You experienced to be personal truth on the matter? Honestly ...

so my mind always went to the worst possible conclusions but ever since a young age i used to be really scared of the idea of being max tortured but i had relief that ill die probably without experiencing it, but now that i think reincarnation and infinite lifetimes exist i cant help but worry about the possibility that its impossible to avoid max torture because we never truly die and eventually itll come. is there any advice that can help that worry or do i just try to ignore it everytime the thought pops up

Hey guys, I’d like to ask you about your perspective of what depression is for you. I have dealt with it many years back but I was swallowing in it and could not go out myself. Now I am a totally different person with lots of resources and capabilities, but the feeling of depression caught me off guard. I just have not aticipated it to come as I haven’t been visited by it for a loong time. How do I expierience it? Pain in my chest like needles from inside. Frustration, lost interest in thinhgs that usually brings me joy. Melancholy, sadness, a feeling of loneliness. I do overcome it when it comes. It accompanies me for some time in the evening and I try to give it some space and let it go but every evening I silently hope yesterday’s was the last - yet it come again. It is related to hearing about my addiction therapist that I’ve finished working with a several months ago - relapsing. It hit me hard and at those evening I think of him a lot. He was such an important figure to me that helped me tremendously. I still talked with him and he was always an immense help when I was feeling troubled. It makes me feel disappointed, angry but mostly just sad of losing an important person, a friend. He doesn’t responds to my text or calls for a month now, and I just want to hear if he survives it.. Today it hit me a lil harder and I was really not sure what to do for a while. I had this urge to smoke a cig even tho I haven’t touched years (I vape occasionally tho). I decided to go for it, dressed myself cuz it’s -5 degress and a loooy of snow outside, got my headphones on and went for a walk. On the beginning I started listening to some music that makes me sad, to try to get it out of myself - cry and move on. But I wasn’t feeling it for some reason. I found an amazing spot to hang out and chilled there for some time feeling melancholic. Then tho I started dancing to the slightly electronic beat in the music on my headphones. Then I was like oh man, I know exactly what I need. I’ve put on some acid house set and I started rocking it in 30cm snow like nothing fucking matters and nobody is looking. I felt the depression fading away but more like “aight imma head out for now, will come back later tho” - but for that moment I was ok for that. I felt I can dance with it. Be with it, respect it and then let it go. I feel ready for it to come visit again cuz I know I won’t fall down with it.

I carry something within me that rises above this world. And when I feel it, darkness fades away. But when I lose sight of it, when the sense of connection slips, I lose within myself the light of eternal joy. Father, Father, what has happened? Where has it gone — the Eternal? My child, my child, do not be afraid. You only need to listen again to the call of the soul. Amen