Jon...I commend your humility seeking counsel. Forgiveness is actually quite similar to the transformations we seek through Ben Hardy's work and our group. We're learning step-by-step how to change. How to release things that don't serve us. How to "go for no". All of these principles can be applied to forgiveness. Often holding onto the "thing" is a source of comfort and justice. Once when I was learning to forgive someone years ago, I realized that I was holding onto it and talking about it because I didn't want anyone to forget how unfairly I was treated. Who else was going to wave that flag of injustice? It had to be me. But in that effort, I wasn't healing or growing. It also took that experience for me to realize that I didn't feel worthy of mercy for my own missteps. I was judgmental, angry and always relied on the "letter of the law". Because that's what I felt I deserved. Thankfully, through God's healing power, I "came to myself" (like the Prodigal Son) and release the anger and hurt and forgave. It was as if a sea of peace and relief flooded into my whole body. I still get emotional thinking of that day. The fun part of life is when we get to use learned lessons to transform deeper into souls who are calmer, more peaceful, more abundant and more joyful. The betrayal of my daughter three years ago, continues to transform me. I still find triggers that need to be analyzed and worked through. The big stuff is mostly forgiven. Little things crop up that irritate me and "get me". These I've learned are the refining things. These are the opportunities to draw closer to God to "see as He sees" and "think as He thinks" so that I can "do as He does". Forgiveness comes in degrees. You've probably done more forgiving than you think you have, honestly. I'm always available to talk with you and would be honored to do so.

@Marcel Haan you’re so right about His healing power.

@Marcel Haan Thank you

@James Stephenson Thank you

@Kavan Balasuriya I absolutely love your one page! It's so full of emotion and yet practical progress. Kinda jealous of your visit to Monet. :) I love that you've also dedicated a work space for yourself with goals attached. So lovely. I'm so sorry for your loss and sadness. I know you're grateful even in the pain. Prayers for you.

@Michael Clegg I agree. I've been pondering it all morning.

@Kavan Balasuriya Wow. I love your thoughts about letting someone hit the bottom so they could come back unique to them. That's so beautiful. It's good advice for a mother with adult children too. :)

Thank you for sharing. I love it!