Transitions are hard for many children. Moving from one activity to another means stopping something they enjoy or starting something difficult. When your child refuses to transition, they are not being difficult on purpose. They are struggling with change. The goal is to help them feel prepared, supported, and successful. Step 1: Give a Warning Before the Change Sudden changes are hard for children. Always prepare your child ahead of time. Try: - “5 more minutes, then we clean up.” - “Two more turns, then we leave.” - “After this show, it’s bath time.” You can also: - Show numbers with your fingers - First/Then visual - Use a timer - Repeat the warning - Social story Preparation reduces resistance. Step 2: Say What Is Happening (Not Just What Is Ending) Instead of only saying: - “Turn off the iPad.” Try saying: - “iPad is finished. Now it’s dinner time.” When children know what to expect next, changes feel easier, they handle them better, and they are more likely to cooperate. Step 3: Give Simple Choices Choices give children a sense of control. Offer small choices you can accept: - “Walk to the car or hop like a bunny?” - “Clean up blocks or books first?” - “Turn off the TV, or should I help?” Control reduces power struggles. Step 4: Make the Next Activity Worth Moving To Transitions are easier when something positive follows. Examples: - Praise - Special attention - A preferred activity after a task - A small reward Children move faster when good things follow cooperation. Step 5: Stay Calm and Follow Through If your child refuses: - Stay calm - Repeat the instruction once - Follow through gently Avoid: - Arguing - Repeating instructions many times - Threatening Say: “It’s time to go. I will help you.” Consistency teaches expectations. Step 6: Praise Cooperation Immediately Notice even a small effort. Say: - “Nice listening.” - “Great coming right away.” - “You did that so quickly.” Children repeat what gets attention.

Public tantrums can feel overwhelming, especially when you feel watched, judged, or unsure of what to do next. In these moments, your child is not trying to embarrass you; they are overwhelmed and struggling to cope. Let’s break this down into simple steps. Step 1: Stay Calm (Even If You Don’t Feel Calm) Your child borrows your nervous system. If you yell, panic, or argue, the tantrum will get bigger. Instead: - Lower your voice. - Keep your words short. - Don’t lecture. You can say: - “I’m here.” - “When you’re calm, we can talk.” - "Breathe." Step 2: Make Sure Everyone Is Safe If your child: - Flops to the floor - Runs - Hits - Throws things Focus on safety first. Move objects away. Gently block if needed. Move to a quieter spot if possible. This is not the time to teach lessons. Step 3: Don’t Give the Tantrum What It Wants This is the hard part. If the tantrum is for: - Candy - A toy - The iPad - Leaving the store And you give it during the tantrum, your child learns: “Tantrums work.” Even if you’re exhausted. Even if people are staring. Try not to give in at that moment. Important: The tantrum might get worse before it gets better. That’s normal. Step 4: Notice the FIRST Sign of Calm The second your child: - Stops screaming - Takes a breath - Stands up - Uses words/speech device Immediately notice it. Say: - “Nice, calming your body.” - “Thank you for using your words.” - "Thank you for telling me what you want." - “That’s better.” Children repeat what gets attention. Step 5: Teach Them What To Do (Before the Next Outing) Tantrums often happen because children don’t know what else to do. So teach simple replacement phrases at home: If they want something: - “Can I have it?” (either verbally or with a speech device) - “Can I earn it?” - “Later?” - "I need help." If they want a break: - “Break, please.” - “All done.” - “Too loud.” Practice these when your child is calm. Praise them big when they use the words.

Parenting a child with autism or developmental differences can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially in those real-life moments when you’re not sure what to do next. Tantrums in public, Refusing to transition, Screaming, Aggression, Feeling like nothing is working, etc. Because of this, I’ve created something practical and supportive for our Parent Hub community. Over the coming weeks, I will be sharing a 12-part “What To Do When…” Parent Series. Each post will focus on a common, real-life situation families experience and provide clear, evidence-based ABA strategies that are realistic to use at home. Starting tomorrow, we will begin Part 1. These are not meant to be overwhelming or prescriptive. They are meant to support you with practical tools you can reach for when you need them. Every post in this series will also be saved inside the "Parent Toolkit" tab so you can revisit them anytime. You are not expected to implement everything perfectly. This is a space for growth, reflection, and support, not pressure. I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s walk through this together.

As a new week begins, remember this gentle truth: “When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” Your child is not broken. Your child is learning, growing, and responding to the world around them in the best way they can right now. In ABA, we focus on changing supports, teaching new skills, and creating environments where communication, confidence, and independence can grow. Every small step matters. Every effort you make at home matters. This week, give yourself permission to notice progress, celebrate the tiny wins, and trust that with the right supports, your child can shine in their own way. You are not alone in this journey.

If you’re a parent trying to understand ABA and how to better support your child, I’ve created free courses just for you. These courses break down ABA in simple, practical terms without jargon or pressure to “do things perfectly.” They’re designed to help you understand what ABA really is, what your role as a parent can look like, and how to feel more confident advocating for your child during services. Whether you’re new to ABA therapy or have been in the system for a while, my hope is that these courses give you clarity, reassurance, and tools you can actually use in everyday life. They’re completely free and available for you to explore at your own pace in the classroom section. If you’ve taken one already, I’d love to hear what stood out for you. If you haven’t, feel free to check them out and share with another parent who might find them helpful. New courses will be added weekly!