2d • Parent Toolkit
Part 2: What to Do When Your Child Refuses to Transition
Transitions are hard for many children. Moving from one activity to another means stopping something they enjoy or starting something difficult.
When your child refuses to transition, they are not being difficult on purpose. They are struggling with change. The goal is to help them feel prepared, supported, and successful.
Step 1: Give a Warning Before the Change
Sudden changes are hard for children.
Always prepare your child ahead of time.
Try:
- “5 more minutes, then we clean up.”
- “Two more turns, then we leave.”
- “After this show, it’s bath time.”
You can also:
- Show numbers with your fingers
- First/Then visual
- Use a timer
- Repeat the warning
- Social story
Preparation reduces resistance.
Step 2: Say What Is Happening (Not Just What Is Ending)
Instead of only saying:
- “Turn off the iPad.”
Try saying:
- “iPad is finished. Now it’s dinner time.”
When children know what to expect next, changes feel easier, they handle them better, and they are more likely to cooperate.
Step 3: Give Simple Choices
Choices give children a sense of control.
Offer small choices you can accept:
- “Walk to the car or hop like a bunny?”
- “Clean up blocks or books first?”
- “Turn off the TV, or should I help?”
Control reduces power struggles.
Step 4: Make the Next Activity Worth Moving To
Transitions are easier when something positive follows.
Examples:
- Praise
- Special attention
- A preferred activity after a task
- A small reward
Children move faster when good things follow cooperation.
Step 5: Stay Calm and Follow Through
If your child refuses:
- Stay calm
- Repeat the instruction once
- Follow through gently
Avoid:
- Arguing
- Repeating instructions many times
- Threatening
Say:
“It’s time to go. I will help you.”
Consistency teaches expectations.
Step 6: Praise Cooperation Immediately
Notice even a small effort.
Say:
- “Nice listening.”
- “Great coming right away.”
- “You did that so quickly.”
Children repeat what gets attention.
Step 7: Expect Some Resistance but Stay Consistent
Change takes practice.
If you give in sometimes but not others, children learn to resist longer.
You do not need to be perfect. Just be consistent.
Reflection
Take a moment to think about your child.
- Which transitions are hardest for my child? (example: leaving the park, turning off screens, bedtime)
- What early signs show my child is starting to resist?
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Part 2: What to Do When Your Child Refuses to Transition
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