Hi hello! My name is Valerie (obviously) and I am introducing myself per the list of to-do’s. I currently struggle to find a community I relate to when it comes to alcohol because I don’t drink excessively or every day but I know that in order to get to the next level I am aiming for, I need to cut it out completely. Regardless of the amount I drink, it still has a profound negative effect on my goals, focus, and well-being. When I listen to podcasts about ruining relationships or near death experiences or dangerous withdrawals, I just can’t find my space there. I listen to a lot of FitRecovery and am hoping this is a place I feel I belong. I love IPA beer and I typically just drink it out of habit or when I feel extreme emotions of any kind (happiness, stress, etc), or to numb the fact that I have so much contempt for my job (also to numb the guilt for that contempt because it’s a fantastic salary not many see around here and I’m very good at it but I just…I mostly hate it and spend a lot of energy trying to just be grateful). I never drink to a point of being sloppy drunk. I like the buzz and I hate hangovers so that is my stopping point. Unfortunately I still feel like trash about myself in the morning. I also have ADHD and I know that makes me more likely to have an addiction of some sort. I hate the way any amount of alcohol makes me feel at this point. Disappointed in myself when I wake up, an unclear head, followed by spikes of anxiety, depression and self loathing, and the way it just murders my fitness and my focus on goals. What I envision for myself in 30 days - - refocusing on my fitness with a vengeance (I want to grow my legs like Carrie June (MiniBeast)) and help other women navigate perimenopause sans poison with a pretty label - Find the right calling for entrepreneurship and begin to climb out of the “9-5” because it’s annihilating my soul - Trust myself to keep promises to me again - And to feel proud of myself about leaving alcohol in my past all the way