Others advised against it but I took some radical advice this week and early results are pretty FUCKING cool. Less than 48 hours ago, a trusted fellow Skooler said my 2.5-year-old community with 770 members was mostly dead 💀. He suggested “kill it and start a new one.” That was scary as shit to hear but I took the leap. The energy is completely different and we even have members bringing in newbies. In just over 36 hours, we have 19 members. The pic on the left is my Discovery ranking with 770 members and 2+ years. The one on the right is the brand new community.

I’ve been thinking about co-regulation again, and one thing feels important to say plainly: We don’t learn self-regulation first. We learn co-regulation first. Literally from birth. When we’re babies, we don’t calm ourselves down.We borrow calm. Someone holds us. Feeds us. Rocks us. Uses their voice, their warmth, their nervous system to help ours settle. That’s not a flaw in the system — that is the system. Self-regulation only develops after repeated experiences of being regulated with someone else. Our nervous systems learn, “Oh, this is what calm feels like. I can come back here.” So when adults struggle to self-soothe, it’s not because they’re bad at coping or not trying hard enough. Often it’s because their system is asking for the same thing it’s always needed first: safe proximity. Which is why co-regulation in real life often looks very unremarkable: – sitting near someone – parallel play – a quiet presence – a shared routine – a “you don’t have to talk” moment – being with someone who doesn’t demand performance Only after that safety settles does self-regulation actually work. Trying to force self-regulation without co-regulation is like telling a baby to “just calm down” without picking them up. Technically possible someday — but not how development actually happens. Very humbling. Very human. Very goose-coded. So I’m curious: How do you notice your body asking for connection before coping?

Hey everyone! Can we please settle an important topic? TEA!! 🫖🫖🫖 (Ok, this might only be important to us Brits 🤪) How do you make your tea? Is it milk first? Or milk last?? I'm firmly in the MILK FIRST camp.....don't ask me why, it just tastes better, ok 🤷‍♀️ Drop your vote + feel free to justify your choice 😂 Let's see how much this divides us!

I cannot fold a fitted sheet. I've watched tutorials. I've tried. It always ends up as an angry ball that I shove in the closet. I'm a whole adult. This should not be this hard. What's yours? 👇

New on here. I'm so glad to join this community.