Greetings fellow empowered beings!! :) As we're approaching this last month, let's take a look at the past year (things we've achieved, lessons we've learned, things we've left behind and added) and let's use that to mobilize us in this next month. Let's use this last month of the year to build momentum and get a running start into 2026. We don't have to wait.... We treat January like it has magical powers when really it is just a month with better PR. Psychologically speaking, December is prime time for momentum building. It is the month where the brain naturally shifts into reflection mode, which means insight is already simmering and it might make it the perfect time to launch! A lot of people experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) in the winter months--- so I think that it's really really important to look at the habits that we engage in and how this either contributes, reinforces or helps ease this effect. (side note--with my clients in Michigan, I start having conversations about this in September because the weather here along with the habits really influence people's experiences for 6 months at a time!! We can't control the weather, BUT we can do things differently). *****So, how are you using December and what are your intentions? *****How will you use this past year as a way to move into the next? Here are some questions to consider as you look back on your past year (questions are part of an AAR (After Action Review). 1. What did we intend to accomplish (what was our strategy)? 2. What did we do (how did we execute relative to our strategy)? 3. Why did it happen that way (why was there a difference between strategy and execution)? 4. What will we do to adapt our strategy or refine our execution for a better outcome OR how do we repeat our success?

In reading "Thinking, Fast and Slow" one of the concepts that stood out was this idea of the experiencing self vs. the remembering self and how the ending or peak moments of a situation can create a bias about the experience as a whole which then contributes to the experiencing self making decisions that are biased and potentially problematic. It actually made me think of @Serena DAfree 's AMAZING group (dafree-community--a group about domestic violence awareness) and maybe how this principle applies to victims that continue coming back to problematic situations. The experiencing self is the you that lives moment to moment. It feels the boredom, the joy, the discomfort, the calm. It exists only in the present. The remembering self is the storyteller. It looks back, edits aggressively, keeps the highlights and the emotional spikes, and then decides what something “was like.” This is the self that answers questions like “Was that trip worth it?” or “Was that relationship good for me?” (To apply it to poor relationships/bad jobs/chaotic dynamics--The experiencing self remembers the stress, the anxiety, the walking-on-eggshells feeling. It knows the situation feels bad while it’s happening. The remembering self, however, edits the footage. It keeps the intense highs, the relief after conflict, the rare good moments, and conveniently blurs the long stretches of discomfort. Then it tells a story like, “It wasn’t that bad,” or “But when it was good, it was really good.” So people go back. Again and again.Not because the situation feels good overall, but because the ending or the peak moments stand out. Your brain weighs the apology, the reunion, the occasional validation more heavily than the daily emotional tax) Most of our decisions are made to satisfy the remembering self, not the experiencing one. That’s why we endure miserable commutes for status, stay in relationships that look good on paper, and chase peak moments instead of daily well-being. The remembering self loves a good story. The experiencing self just wants fewer bad moments.

Imagine starting the new year already centered, energized, and grounded — instead of trying to undo the stress of December. Movement, rest, mindfulness, reading, presence… These are the practices that change how you feel day to day — not quick fixes. What’s one habit you want to rebuild before the year ends?

💗There are so many great challenges out there and I didn't want to add another one to the list...BUT, in the spirit of this month of thanksgiving, I did want to gift someone something at the end of the month...I want to show appreciation to ALL of you, but given practical considerations, I just don't know if a gift is possible for all. So, I was trying to think about what would be a good way to try to go about this.... 🌟Well, how about this? In the spirit of this group and what it's about, WHAT IF we use your own goals and habits that you want to build upon as the deciding factor for winning? Not only will you get something from me but you'll be gaining momentum towards your goals and that IS winning beyond an external reward. We can use this as a way to add additional incentive to keep going and to make strides towards your goals!! And also as a place of accountability:) If there are A LOT of winners, maybe a secondary way of teasing out top winners can be something related to participation /level of activity or maybe just a random choosing. I already appreciate the activity in here and while I want to incentivise more people to participate I don't want the gift to just be dependent on that---I truly want you all to do well towards your goals!! 📈So....what say you? If you're interested, drop a comment below saying that you're in AND also identifying what you'll be working on for the rest of the month---what are the habits that you want to start/grow/continue? What will have to happen at the end of the month to say "I've made acceptable progress" towards this goal? (some areas of potential focus: physical health: diet, exercise, drinking water; spiritual health: daily prayer, gratitude practice; financial health: saving money, spending less; etc.) Let's do this!! Let's have a place to keep each other accountable, encourage each other and just take strides towards growth!! We got this, fam! :) :) :)

🔥 RELATING TO OTHERS IS NOT YOUR EXCUSE TO STAY SMALL (post inspired by a recent conversation with @Steve Webb in his group! Also @Dr. Melissa Partaka had a recent podcast with someone that touched on changing course and not needing to be stuck ) It feels powerful to be understood. Co-regulation, empathy and validation help calm the nervous system and reduce emotional overload. But...let’s be honest for a second...Too many people stop there. They feel seen, they feel validated, and then they camp out in the same place that has been holding them back.Compassion helps you stabilize, but stability is fuel for forward motion, not an excuse to stay comfortable. Just because compassion brings comfort doesn'tmean that we need to lay in that bed. Some science because why not nerd it out a little bit? Empathy reduces shame activation, which is important because shame triggers the threat system and suppresses prefrontal cortex functioning. When that part of the brain goes offline, motivation, planning and healthy decision making become harder. It's more likely to keep us stuck. This is why shame rarely produces real change. Here's the thing though, compassion is not the finish line and validation does not need to equal resignation. It is the starting line.Validation gets you out of fight or freeze, but what you do next is on you and this matters. ✨ Striving for Excellence Excellence is about alignment with values and taking consistent action towards them. It involves using strengths/skills/abilities and practicing intentionality and taking actions that support long term wellbeing. It's a daily choice to rise even when it hurts--this is resilience in motion and ownership. Grit, if you wanna call it that. You can offer yourself compassion for where you are while STILL directing yourself toward growth. You can hold both truths:“I understand why I feel this way” and “I am capable of choosing something healthier.”