Catastrophic failure. That's the words straight from Bill at Bill's Auto Shop the day after this video was taken. That's our family Rav4. We bought it two years ago because they were virtually bulletproof Toyota engines. 170K km's on it. It should have lasted years. YEARS. But on this Easter Sunday, my two sons were driving it back home from deep south Alberta while we rounded out our visit with their grandparents. They made a move to pass and WHAM, smoke, noise. They did everything right. Pulled over. Shut it off. Got out, had a look. And called dad. It was Easter Sunday morning so we had just gotten out of church. I saw their call as it came in. My heart actually sank because there was no good reason to hear from them yet. They were an hour and a half into their return trip. I knew what was at stake in the moment. I could feel it. And I bet they could too. I'm here to tell you not about the work of the mechanic restoring my Rav. It's ded. D-e-d. Ded. 💀 I'm here to tell you the work of Jesus restoring my heart as a father. They called me. Fearless. And that hasn't always been the case. I have been impatient with them. I have been critical of them as young boys and young men. There was a season where they would have gotten my interrogation rather than my rescue. But today, Jesus leads me by still waters. He restores my soul. And my marriage. And my mission. ANd my body. And my finances. And my dead vehicles. NOTHING, in that moment, was more important than the safety of my sons. And I'm not talking about road safety. Nothing was more important than their security in their dad's love and protection. I responded with the same heart that Jesus has shown me. I know this because, two hours down the road they checked in with me. The text is below. Fathering adult sons is a wild and dangerous frontier. I've faltered and missed the mark. But I know that I'm an oak tree for them. (Isaiah 61:3) I'm still sowing my legacy into these beautiful, dangerous young men that God has entrusted to me. And with my dying breath, I will sow.

You have an instinct as a dad, even a brand new one. Don't be afraid to trust it. You see this with new dads holding their new babies. It starts as cuddling & rocking & stroking their heads, cheeks, those tiny fingers. And that will go on for a few months. But there is an inevitable point... where dad will do something that mom will NEVER do. Dad will THROW THAT BABY! It will start small. A gentle toss, barely leaving his hands. But then a positive feedback loop will begin. The first time dad gets a hint of a smile from that little bundle (OR a panicked gasp from mom!) MARS is the next destination for that baby. THAT'S the dad difference. The WSJ wrote an article titled "Roughhousing Lessons from Dad" and highlighted research that exposed several tendencies of dads with kids. Check these out.... #1 - Walk the Line - Dads put safety 2nd. They walk a slack-line between safety and letting their kids take risks. When my second son was around 10, he wondered if our WWII army cot could function as a hang glider. TOTALLY GET IT. Sooo, I let him JUMP OFF the garden shed with this thing over his back. It was maybe a 5' drop onto the lawn. After questioning and doubting, he asked what I thought. I told him he'd be OK! Off he went. He landed it but, admittedly, a bit hard but very much uninjured.🫢 "DAD!" he cried. You promised I wouldn't get hurt!" "I'm sorry buddy! I promised you'd be OK! You're alright. Let's have a look." From the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics in a 2011 study - Dads walk a line in play—protecting kids without removing all risk. Small scrapes teach children how to manage fear, set limits with peers, and make emotionally intelligent decisions under pressure. #2 - Player and Coach - During rough and tumble play (a key feature of whole-hearted fathering), dad's tend to play two roles. They simultaneously get in on the action, engaging in play AND they act as coach. The coach sets and enforces rules, adds elements of structure to play and calls timeouts as needed. As a player, dad elevates the level of play.